ganesh wrote:My room + internet connection + music + food – homework = perfect day.
* * *Just me everyday at work.
ha ha!
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People come and go but birthdays do accrue.
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What happened when the two angels got married? They lived harpily ever after!
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I don't ignore people, I just choose to not notice them.
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How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
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Don't make me use UPPERCASE.
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All my party planning skills revolve around exit strategies.
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What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day? You're purrr-fect for me!
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Why did the student study in an airplane? He wanted a higher education!
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Put some ash or soot on your fingertip. Casually mention to a friend that he has a spot of dirt on his face as you reach up to remove it. Leave your mark!
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Marriage is like a bar of soap. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it!
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British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough, use an ashtray.
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Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
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I only drink on days beginning with "T". Tuesday, Thursday, today and tomorrow.
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What does a man who loves his car do on February 14? He gives it a valenshine!
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My room + internet connection + music + food – homework = perfect day.
* * *
Just me everyday at work.
]]>ganesh wrote:I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back.
* * *Quidditch?
I had to lookup for the new term! Thanks!
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
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Tarzan doesn't have a beard. Yet he lives in the jungle for over 30 years.
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You know you're fat when you step on the scale and it says "one at a time please".
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How does broccoli use a cellphone? He cauliflower.
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My room + internet connection + music + food – homework = perfect day.
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I disapprove of every conspiracy of which I am not a part.
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I've been thinking about you...Owl night long.
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If anything is used to its full potential, it will break.
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Alcohol not only expands the blood vessels but also communications.
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What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? "I love you a ton!"
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Look, if crying doesn't solve the problem, then maybe I'm just not the person you should be asking.
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I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
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Did it hurt when you fell down from Heaven?
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What is a runner's favorite subject in school? Jog-raphy!
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I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
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Relationship between men and women is psychological. She is psycho and he is logical.
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I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back.
* * *
Quidditch?
]]>ganesh wrote:What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper!
* * *Or a bleeding zebra.
Funny!
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I have given up on my stand up comedy routines. Everybody just keeps laughing at me.
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I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back.
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People who want to share their religious or political views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
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How about we do some peer-to-peer sharing? Your domain or mine?
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Can't throw the ball, kept on bouncing away: situation is out of hand.
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Why should you not make fun of a crippled person? Because he can't stand the jokes.
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How do we know that soccer referees are happy? Because they whistle while they work.
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Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret.
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When I asked if you'd like to go out on a date sometime, I meant with me.
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A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong.
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It's funny how one person can make you never trust anybody...
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When there are no volunteers, they get appointed.
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Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
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I think I'm agnostic, but I haven't decided.
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Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
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What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper!
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Or a bleeding zebra.
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