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## #1 2011-06-14 09:11:43

studymaths
Member
Registered: 2010-04-11
Posts: 32

### Math one-liners

I'm trying to gather as many one - liner maths jokes together as I can so I thought I'd share the ones I have collected so far...apologies to the javascript layout!

joke[0]="Why was 6 afraid of 7?";
joke[1]="What do you call a boiling kettle on top of a mountain?";
joke[2]="There a 10 types of people.";
joke[3]="BREAKING NEWS!";
joke[4]="Have you heard the joke about the statistician?";
joke[5]="What happens when you take the circumference of your Halloween lantern and divide it by its diameter?";
joke[6]="What do mermaid mathematicians wear?";
joke[7]="Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?";
joke[8]="There were 99 people on a boat when it capsized. How many were left on the boat?";
joke[9]="What does a constipated mathematician do?";
joke[10]="What did the zero say to the eight?";
joke[11]="Pi says: 'Get real.'";
joke[12]="Why was the maths book sad?";
joke[13]="An infinite crowd of mathematicians enter a pub. The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint and so on.";
joke[14]="Why don't you find many mathematicians on the beach?";
joke[15]="Why did the pupil eat her homework?";
joke[16]="What does a clock do when it's hungry?";
joke[17]="Why is two the oddest prime?";
joke[18]="Teacher: 'Along the corridor up the stairs'";
joke[19]="A statistician had his head in an oven and his feet in the freezer.";
joke[20]="What's the king of the pencil case?";
joke[21]="What's a sheeps favourite graph?";
joke[22]="What did the obtuse angle say to the smaller angle?";
joke[23]="What T.V. programme do statisticians watch?"
joke[24]="Why was the prism angry?";
joke[25]="How much is the cheapest carpet at the metric store?";
joke[26]="How do geometry teachers travel?";
joke[27]="What is a mathematians favourite food?";
joke[28]="What do you call a leg that is perpendicular to a foot?";
joke[29]="What did one maths book say to the other?";
joke[30]="What state has the most maths teachers?";
joke[31]="Did you hear the joke about the infinite line?";
joke[32]="Having problems with your maths?";
joke[33]="Why did the two vectors start an internet-based company?";
joke[34]="Why did the integer get mad at his wife?";
joke[35]="Shocking statistic...";
joke[36]="Heard about the mathematical plant?";
joke[37]="F(x)= 2X+3 walks into a bar and orders a round of drinks and asks for some sanwiches.";
joke[38]="Who invented King Arthur's round table?";
joke[39]="How do you tell that you are in the hands of the Mathematical Mafia?";
joke[40]="How many numerical analysts does it take to change a lightbulb?";
joke[41]="What's the difference between Robbie Williams and a maths teacher?";
joke[42]="Where are mathematicians buried?";
joke[43]="Decimals have a point.";
joke[44]="Why don't they serve beer at mathematicians' parties?";
joke[45]="I hate puns about maths."

And now all the punch lines...

punch[0]="Because 7, 8, 9!";
punch[1]="A high-pot-in-use!";
punch[2]="Those that understand binary and those that don't.";
punch[3]="A new prime number has been discovered three times larger than the previous record.";
punch[5]="You get Pumpkin Pie.";
punch[6]="Algebras.";
punch[7]="To get to the same side.";
punch[8]="66.";
punch[9]="Work it out with a pencil.";
punch[10]="Nice belt.";
punch[12]="Because it had too many problems.";
punch[13]="The bar man says 'I get ya' and pours two pints.";
punch[14]="Because they can get a tan with just a sine and cosine.";
punch[15]="Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.";
punch[16]="It goes back four seconds.";
punch[17]="It's the only one that's even!";
punch[18]="Pupil: 'Sir, I live in a bungalow'";
punch[19]="On average he felt fine.";
punch[20]="The ruler.";
punch[21]="A baaaa chart.";
punch[22]="Your a cute angle.";
punch[23]="Correlation street.";
punch[24]="It had a cross-section.";
punch[25]="One cent a metre.";
punch[26]="In a plane.";
punch[27]="Pi."
punch[28]="A right ankle.";
punch[29]="Man I have a lot of problems.";
punch[30]="Mathachussets.";
punch[31]="It doesn't have a point.";
punch[32]="Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].";
punch[33]="They thought they had a good dot product.";
punch[34]="Because she was being irrational.";
punch[35]="50% of schools are below average.";
punch[36]="It's got square roots.";
punch[37]="The barman replies sorry we don't cater for functions.";
punch[38]="Sir Cumference.";
punch[39]="They make you an offer that you can't understand.";
punch[40]="0.99987 after four iterations.";
punch[41]="Your maths teacher is loving Angles instead.";
punch[42]="The Symmetry.";
punch[43]="Calculus has it's limits.";
punch[44]="Because it's not safe to drink and derive.";
punch[45]="They're the first sine of madness."

Any more for any more?

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## #2 2011-06-14 14:52:43

soroban
Member
Registered: 2007-03-09
Posts: 452

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## #3 2011-07-14 16:22:53

soroban
Member
Registered: 2007-03-09
Posts: 452

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