A dissatisfied train passenger writes the following letter of complaint to the railway authorities: "Gentlemen: I have been riding your trains daily for the last 22 years and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on my way to and from work. I think your transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2000 years ago. Yours truly, A Commuter."

The railway authorities reply: "Dear Sir: We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2000 years ago was by foot. Sincerely, Western Railways."

The passenger replies back: "Gentlemen: I am in receipt of your letter and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you refer to the Old Testament book of David in the Bible, Chapter Nine, you will find that Balaam rode to town 'seated' on his donkey. That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your trains in the last 22 years. Yours truly, A Long 'Standing' Commuter."

] .

.

Oh, you too didn't understand?
I thought it was only me.

Here is another joke along the same lines.

Q) So Mr. Gates how much are you worth?

A) Oh, between 50 and 70 billion dollars...

hi sasha1grate

welcome to the forum!

An Einstein anecdote:
Einstein was a late bloomer and didn't start talking until he was seven. This made his parents fear he might be slow. Until one night at dinner he said, "The soup is too hot." Relieved his parents asked him why he'd waited so long to speak. He replied, "Up until now, everything was in order."

let epsilon be less than zero...

Mathematical proofs:

* Proof by General Agreement: "All in Favor?..."

* Proof by Plausibility: "It sounds good so it must be true."

* Proof by Accident: "Hey, what have we here?"

* Proof by Tautology: "It's true because it's true."

* Proof by Intimidation: "Don't be stupid, of course it's true."

* Proof by Terror: When intimidation fails ...

* Proof by Logic: "If it is on the problem sheet, then it must be true."

* Proof by Clever Variable Choice: "Let A be the number such that this proof works."

* Proof by Divine Word: "And the Lord said, 'Let it be true,' and it came to pass."

* Proof by Postponement: "The proof for this is so long and arduous, so it is given in the appendix."

* Proof by Avoidance: Limit of Proof by Postponement as t approaches infinity.

* Proof by Stubbornness: "I don't care what you say! It is true!"

* Proof by Authority: "Well, Bill Gates says it's true, so it must be." but i would change this one from Bill Gates to Cameron Diaz.

* Proof by eminent authority: "I saw Karp in the elevator and he said it was probably NP- complete."

* Proof by Divine Intervention: "Then a miracle occurs ..."

* Proof by personal communication: "Eight-dimensional colored cycle stripping is NP-complete [Karp, personal communication]."

* Proof by reference to inaccessible literature: The author cites a simple corollary of a theorem to be found in a privately circulated memoir of the Slovenian Philological Society, 1883.

* Proof by mutual reference: In reference A, Theorem 5 is said to follow from Theorem 3 in reference B, which is shown to follow from Corollary 6.2 in reference C, which is an easy consequence of Theorem 5 in reference A.

* Proof by ghost reference: Nothing even remotely resembling the cited theorem appears in the reference given.

find more here:http://www.onlinemathlearning.com/math- … roofs.html

Last edited by anonimnystefy (2011-09-15 05:30:36)

well,i think it was meant for student cases,and it means that students don't really check the solutions and/or examples given by work or any sheets for that matter.

:)

Two friends are talking and first friend asks to the other friend 
First friend : if there is no water in the world than what we drink 
Second friend : we drink the pure milk.

Flash Games

Last edited by Leo (2011-12-31 23:09:27)