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#1 2018-03-03 17:49:28

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 24,702

Cats and Dogs Jokes

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
* * *
How do cats end a fight?
They hiss and make up.
* * *
How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year!"
* * *
There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out. How many were left?
None. They were all copy cats.
* * *
What do cats use to make coffee?
A purrcolator.
* * *
What is a cat's favorite color?
Purrr-ple!
* * *
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One means pause at the end of a clause, and the other means claws at the end of paws.
* * *
Why was the cat so small?
Because it only ate condensed milk.
* * *
How is a dog like a penny?
They both have a head and a tail.
* * *
What do you call a dog that is left-handed?
A south paw.
* * *
What does a lazy dog chase?
Parked cars.
* * *
What kind of dog does a vampire prefer ?
Any kind of bloodhound.
* * *
What kind of dog is always confused?
A mixed-up breed.
* * *
Where do young dogs sleep when they camp out?
In pup tents.
* * *
Which dog is a 14-carat canine?
The golden retriever.


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#2 2018-03-09 00:20:25

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 24,702

Re: Cats and Dogs Jokes

Q: Which dog is fun to play with?
A: The Toy poodle.
* * *
Q: Which dog weighs the most?
A: The heavyweight boxer.
* * *
Q: Which states have a lot of canines?
A: North and South Dogkota.
* * *
Q: Why did the dalmatian go to the cleaners?
A: His coat had spots all over it.
* * *
Q: Why did the pooch go to sleep early?
A: He was dog-tired.
* * *
Q: Why should you walk carefully when its raining cats and dogs?
A: You might step in a poodle.
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#3 2018-03-11 14:57:56

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 24,702

Re: Cats and Dogs Jokes

Q: What do you call a flying cat?
A: I'm-paws-sible.
* * *
Q: What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister?
A: An aunt-eater!
* * *
Q: What do you call a cat in a station wagon?
A: A car-pet!
* * *
Q: Why did the cat wear a dress?
A: She was feline fine.
* * *
Q: What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
A: The purrpatrator.
* * *
Q: Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?
A: Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!
* * *
Q: Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
A: To keep an eye on the mouse!
* * *
Q: What did the cat say when he lost his toys?
A: You got to be kitten me.
* * *
Q: Why is the desert lion everyone's favorite at Christmas?
A: Because he has sandy claws!
* * *
Q. What kind of sports car does a cat drive?
A. A Furrari.
* * *
Q: What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?
A: Purrr-suasive.
* * *
Q: What do you call a cat who just ate a duck?
A: A duck-filled platy puss.
* * *
Q: What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
A: 'Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.'
* * *
Q: What is a lion's favorite food?
A: Baked beings!
* * *
Q: What is the cat's favorite TV show?
A: The evening mews!
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#4 2018-03-12 14:00:06

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 24,702

Re: Cats and Dogs Jokes

Q: What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A: A catastrophe!
* * *
Q: What do you call a cat race?
A: A meowathon.
* * *
Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
A: An octopuss!
* * *
Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
* * *
Q: What is a cats favorite vegetable?
A: As-purr-agus.
* * *
Q: Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane?
A: She let the cat out of the bag.
* * *
Q: Why are cats so good at video games?
A: Because they have nine lives!
* * *
Q: What's a cat's favorite button on the tv remote?
A: Paws.
* * *
Q: Did you hear about the cat that thought she was a dog?
A: She was purr-plexed.
* * *
Q: What do you call a cat that smells good?
A: Prrrr-fume.
* * *
Q: What do you call a cat on ice?
A: One cool cat.
* * *
Q: What is a cats favorite musical instrument?
A: Purr-cussion.
* * *
Q: What do you call a cat that can address the media?
A: a Press Kit.
* * *
Q: What is a felines favorite day of the week?
A: Caturday.
* * *
Q: What time is it when ten cats chase a mouse?
A: Ten After One.
* * *
Q: What do you call a cat that does tricks?
A: A magic kit.
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#5 2018-03-12 18:29:51

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 24,702

Re: Cats and Dogs Jokes

Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
A: Terrier-fied!
* * *
Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound!
* * *
Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!
* * *
Q: What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A: A golden receiver!
* * *
Q: Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart?
A: He was CON-fused!
* * *
Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A: A friend you can count on.
* * *
Q: Did you hear about the dog who couldn't stop talking like a horse?
A: It was a dog and pony show.
* * *
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?
A: A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!
* * *
Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in trees!
* * *
Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make both ends meet!
* * *
Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!
* * *
Q: What's a dog's ideal job?
A: Barkeology.
* * *
Q: Why was the cat scared of the tree?
A: Because of its bark.
* * *
Q: What did the dog say to the sandpaper?
A: Ruff.
* * *
Q: Why did the dog stay in the shade?
A: Because he did not want to turn into a hot dog.
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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