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#1 2018-03-09 03:27:22

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Q and A : Part 2

Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk your ear off.
* * *
Q: What do you get when you cross a ghost and a cat ?
A: A scaredy cat!
* * *
Q: What do you get when you cross a caterpillar and a parrot?
A: A walkie talkie!
* * *
Q: What do you get when you cross a piece of paper and scissors?
A: Confetti.
* * *
Q: What do you get when you cross Godzilla and a parrot?
A: I don’t know, but if he asks for a cracker, give it to him!
* * *
Q: How did the Dinosaur pass his exam?
A: With Extinction!
* * *
Q: How do Hypnotists get from place to place?
A: By public trance-port!
* * *
Q: Why did you swallow the coins my boy?
A: You said it was lunch money!
* * *
Q: What do elves do after school?
A: Gnomework!
* * *
Q: Why can't you play practical jokes on snakes?
A: You can't pull their legs!
* * *
Q: What do invisible people drink?
A: Evaporated Milk!
* * *
Q: What are the largest ants in the world?
A: Gi-ants!
* * *
Q: Why do they compare men with roses?
A: You have to watch out for the thorns!
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#2 2018-03-09 15:36:05

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: What do you call a row of rabbits jumping backwards?
A: A receding hair line.
* * *
Q: What horse never comes out in the daytime?
A: A night mare!
* * *
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
* * *
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
* * *
Q: What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
* * *
Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: "What Men Know About Women."
* * *
Q: Which coat is always wet when you put it on?
A: Obviously, a coat of paint.
* * *
Q: A word consists of six letters. If you take away the last, only twelve remain. What is the word?
A: The word is “Dozens”.
* * *
Q: When is a boat like a pile of snow?
A: When it is adrift.
* * *
Q: How do snowmen get around?
A: On their icicles.
* * *
Q: Why don’t ghosts like rain?
A: Because it dampens their spirits.
* * *
Q: How do we make an egg laugh?
A: Tell them a yolk [joke].
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#3 2018-03-10 02:54:36

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: Did you hear the story about the Peacock?
A: It is a beautiful tail [tale].
* * *
Q: What keep your teeth together?
A: Toothpaste.
* * *
Q: While dogs have fleas, what do sheep have?
A: They have fleece.
* * *
Q: Is it better to write on a full or an empty stomach?
A: Writing on paper works the best.
* * *
Q: What happens to a refrigerator when you shut off its power?
A: It loses its cool.
* * *
Q: What is an “illigator”?
A: A sick crocodile.
* * *
Q: Which is the healthiest water?
A: Well water, obviously.
* * *
Q: Which hired killer is never executed?
A: Insect exterminator.
* * *
Q: What happens if you cross an elephant with a Boy Scout?
A: You get a real big uniform.
* * *
Q: What do trees say to the woodpecker?
A: You bore me.
* * *
Q: What did the first pencil say to the second pencil?
A: You are looking sharp.
* * *
Q: How did the blind carpenter work?
A: He just picked up his hammer and “saw.”
* * *
Q: What is the major difference between a bird and a fly?
A: A Bird can fly but a fly cannot bird!
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#4 2018-03-10 22:34:41

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: What did the elephant want for his birthday?
A: A trunk full of gifts.
* * *
Q: What do you say to your goldfish on his birthday?
A: Have a fin-tastic day.
* * *
Q: When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
A: When you slice it.
* * *
Q: What did the bald guy say when he was given a comb for his birthday?
A: Thanks, I’ll never part with it.
* * *
Q: What’s a funny fish called?
A: A clownfish.
* * *
Q: What do you say if you meet a toad?
A: Wart’s new?
* * *
Q: What to polar bears eat for lunch?
A: Ice berg-ers!
* * *
Q: What are caterpillars afraid of?
A: Dogger-pillars.
* * *
Q: What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!
* * *
Q: What do ducks watch on TV?
A: Duck-umentaries.
* * *
Q: What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
A: A drizzly bear.
* * *
Q: Why did the bee go to the doctor?
A: Because he had hives.
* * *
Q: Why does a rooster watch TV?
A: For Hen-tertainment!
* * *
Q: Which kinds of snakes are found on cars?
A: Windshield vipers.
* * *
Q: What do you call an arctic cow?
A: An eski-moo!
* * *
Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#5 2018-03-11 03:38:19

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized?
A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes.
* * *
Q: What do you call a frozen dog?
A: A pupsicle.
* * *
Q: What washes up on very small beaches?
A: Microwaves!
* * *
Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
A: A Clausterphobic!
* * *
Q: Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
A: The survivors were marooned.
* * *
Q:  How do you revive a drowning rodent?
A: Give it mouse-to-mouse resuscitation.
* * *
Q: What does a dog get when it finishes obedience school?
A: A pet degree.
* * *
Q: What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
A: Time to get the clock fixed.
* * *
Q: Why did the vampire give his girlfriend a blood test?
A: To see if she was his type.
* * *
Q: Why don't fish play tennis?
A: They might get caught in the net.
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#6 2018-03-18 18:48:32

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: What road has the most ghosts haunting it?
A: A dead end.
* * *
Q: Why didn't the mummy have any friends and was a loner?
A: Mainly because he was always wrapped up in himself.
* * *
Q: What do you call witches who live together?
A: Broom-mates.
* * *
Q: Why did the Cyclops discontinue teaching?
A: It was because he had only one pupil.
* * *
Q: Which is the easiest way to double your money?
A. Just place it in front of the mirror.
* * *
Q: What has four fingers and a thumb but is not alive?
A. The glove.
* * *
Q: What has a neck but no head?
A: A bottle.
* * *
Q: What has a few points but are never competing?
A: A fork.
* * *
Q: Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
A: The heat was in-tents.
* * *
Q: What should you take on a trip to the desert?
A: A thirst-aid kit.
* * *
Q: What did one campfire say to the other?
A: Shall we go out tonight?
* * *
Q: Where can you find an ocean with no water?
A: On a map.
* * *
Q: Why did Superman cross the road?
A: To get to the supermarket.
* * *
Q: What always comes at the beginning of a parade?
A: The letter P.
* * *
Q: What room has no walls?
A: A mushroom.
* * *
Q: Two waves had a race. Who won?
A: They tide.
* * *
Q: Did you heard about the origami store?
A: It folded.
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#7 2018-03-19 00:14:00

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: Which is the fastest country in the world?
A: Russia. [Rush- ya]
* * *
Q: Which is the city that no one dares to go?
A: Electricity.
* * *
Q: What is always on the ground and is never dirty or soiled?
A: The shadow.
* * *
Q: What goes up when rain comes down?
A: The umbrella.
* * *
Q: Where do bulls receive their messages?
A: On the bull-etin board.
* * *
Q: What moves up and down but actually does not move?
A: Temperature.
* * *
Q: What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine?
A: it wooden go [wouldn’t].
* * *
Q: What is taken before you get it?
A: Your picture.
* * *
Q: What is the difference between Ms. and Mrs.?
A: Mr.
* * *
Q: What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?
A: An onion.
* * *
Q: What happens if you don’t pay your exorcist?
A: You are repossessed.
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#8 2018-03-19 14:37:18

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: What do you call an old snowman?
A: Water.
* * *
Q: Which coat is always wet when you put it on?
A: Obviously, a coat of paint.
* * *
Q: When is a boat like a pile of snow?
A: When it is adrift.
* * *
Q: What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A: A cartoon [car tune].
* * *
Q: What kind of ties can't you wear?
A: Railroad ties.
* * *
Q: Why are graveyards always noisy and full of sick people?
A: Because of all the coffin [coughin'].
* * *
Q: Why made the doughnut owner wind up its business?
A: Mainly because, he got tired of the hole business [w-hole].
* * *
Q: Alabama the smartest state in the USA; guess why?
A: Because it has 4 A's and one B!
* * *
Q: When do you go at red and stop when you see green?
A: When you eat a watermelon!
* * *
Q: Where do bulls receive their notice papers and messages?
A: On the bull-etin board!
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#9 2018-03-20 14:48:37

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages?
A: He was a man of many cultures.
* * *
Q: What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe?
A: Mitosis.
* * *
Q: Where does a chess player trade in his pieces?
A: At the pawn shop.
* * *
Q: Who is the fastest runner of all time?
A: Adam, because he came first in the human race!
* * *
Q: Why do dogs run in circles?
A: Because its hard to run in squares!
* * *
Q: How do you know your a dedicated runner?
A: When your treadmill has more miles on it than your car.
* * *
Q: What is absolute jealousy?
A: The feeling you get when you're driving in your car and pass runners.
* * *
Q: Why can't you take a nap during a race?
A: Because if you snooze, you lose!
* * *
Q: What kind of running shoes are made from banana skins?
A: Slippers.
* * *
Q: What do runners do when they forget something?
A: They jog their memory.
* * *
Q: What detergent do sailors use?
A: Tide!
* * *
Q: What race is never run?
A: A regatta race. (A regatta is a series of boat races.)
* * *
Q: Where do ghosts like to go sailing?
A: Lake Eerie. (Lake Erie is the fourth-largest lake (by surface area) of the five Great Lakes in North America, and the eleventh-largest globally if measured in terms of surface area.)
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#10 2018-03-21 15:29:22

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: What wobbles when it flies?
A: A jellicopter!
* * *
Q: Why is the railroad angry?
A: Because people are always crossing it!
* * *
Q: Why can't the engineer be electrocuted?
A: Because he's not a conductor!
* * *
Q: What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar?
A: "Please, no stories!"
* * *
Q: Whats the difference between a dog and a fox?
A: 2 drinks.
* * *
Q: What do you say when you're gonna drunk dial someone?
A: Al-cohol you!
* * *
Q: What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have?
A: Baby Dinosaurs.
* * *
Q: Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A: dino-sewer.
* * *
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables?
A: A.brocileasoarus.
* * *
Q: What do dinosaurs put on their pizza?
A: Tomato-saurus!
* * *
Q: What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use?
A: A dino-saw!
* * *
Q: What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A: Doyouthinkhesawus.
* * *
Q: What kind of dinosaur works for the police?
A: A trisara-cop.
* * *
Q: Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun?
A: At the dino-shore.
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#11 2018-03-22 00:56:22

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: What kind of stroke can you use on toast?
A: BUTTER-fly!
* * *
Q: Why did the teacher jump into the water?
A: She wanted to test the water!
* * *
Q. What word looks the same backwards and upside down?
A. Swims.
* * *
Q: Where do zombies like to go swimming?
A: The Dead Sea!
* * *
Q: What is a polar bear's favorite stroke?
A: Blubber-fly!
* * *
Q: What kind of swimmer makes a good gardener?
A: One with great seed times!
* * *
Q: What stroke do sheep enjoy doing?
A: The baaaackstroke!
* * *
Q: How do you start a teddy bear race?
A: Ready, teddy, GO!
* * *
Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they're in black and white.
* * *
Q: Why did the bear dissolve in water?
A: Because it was polar.
* * *
Q: What do you call purple when it is being aggressive?
A: Violent!
* * *
Q: What’s the difference between a horse and the weather?
A: One is reined up and the other rains down.
* * *
Q: What’s the difference between weather and climate?
A: You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate.
* * *
Q: What type of cloud is so lazy, because it will never get up?
A: Fog!
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#12 2018-03-22 13:59:05

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: Whats the difference between love and marriage?
A: Love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener!
* * *
Q: Why shouldn't you marry a tennis player?
A: Because love means nothing to them.
* * *
Q: What kind of process is Marriage?
A: A process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
* * *
Q: Why is marriage is like a violin?
A: After all the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.
* * *
Q: What’s the difference between love and marriage?
A: Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
* * *
Q: Who is the perfect husband?
A: One who keeps his mouth shut and his checkbook open!
* * *
Q: How is a marriage like a hot bath?
A: Once you get used to it, it's not so hot
* * *
Q: Why are boyfriends like parking spaces?
A: The good ones are always taken!
* * *
Q: Whats the difference between marrying a Mama's Boy and a Daddy's Girl?
A: One makes biscuits like his mother and the other makes dough like her father!
* * *
Q: What do a good employee and a boyfriend have in common?
A: They're always coming early.
* * *
Q: Why do men like love at first sight?
A: It saves them a lot of time.
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#13 2018-03-22 17:47:51

Monox D. I-Fly
Member
From: Indonesia
Registered: 2015-12-02
Posts: 1,239

Re: Q and A : Part 2

ganesh wrote:

Q. What word looks the same backwards and upside down?
A. Swims.
* * *

Why did I never realize this...


Actually I never watch Star Wars and not interested in it anyway, but I choose a Yoda card as my avatar in honor of our great friend bobbym who has passed away. May his adventurous soul rest in peace at heaven.

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#14 2018-03-22 18:50:20

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Monox D. I-Fly wrote:
ganesh wrote:

Q. What word looks the same backwards and upside down?
A. Swims.
* * *

Why did I never realize this...

Sometimes, we miss trivial things, don't we?

* * *
Q: What does a Baboon attorney study?
A: The Law of the jungle!
* * *
Q: What does a Baboon learn first in school?
A: The Apey-cees!
* * *
Q: What happens if you cross a parrot with a Baboon?
A: Nobody is sure, but if it opened its mouth to speak, you'd listen!
* * *
Q: Which technique does a Baboon borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?
A: The bear hug!
* * *
Q: Why did the actor fire his Baboon agent?
A: The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!
* * *
Q: Why did the Baboon fail English?
A: He had little Ape-titude!
* * *
Q: What's a Baboon's favourite drink?
A: A sas-gorilla.
* * *
Q: How do Baboons get down the stairs?
A: They slide down the banana-ster!
* * *
Q: What's a Baboons favourite music band?
A: The Gorillaz!
* * *
Q: What do you call a single buffalo?
A: A buffalonely.
* * *
Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful buffalo?
A: Milk of Amnesia.
* * *
Q: How do you write a book about Bats?
A: With a ghostwriter.
* * *
Q: Did you hear about the two bats meeting?
A: It was love at first bite!
* * *
Q: How do bats tell their future?
A: They read their horrorscope.
* * *
Q: When does a bat go "mooooo"?
A: When it is learning a new language!
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#15 2018-03-24 02:33:08

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: Where did the duck go when he was sick?
A: To the ducktor!
* * *
Q: Why don`t ducks tell jokes when they fly?
A: Because they would quack up!
* * *
Q: What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A: A box of quackers!
* * *
Q: What happens when Donald Duck flies upside down?
A: He quacks up!
* * *
Q: What is a chick's favorite drink?
A: Peepsi!
* * *
Q: Why did the duck go to the bank?
A: Because he wanted to get a new bill.
* * *
Q: What do you call a kids book about otters?
A: Harry Otter.
* * *
Q: What do you drive in a river?
A: An otter-mobile.
* * *
Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: Because it's worth it.
* * *
Q: How did the Banker die?
A: He Cashed Out.
* * *
Q: Where do seagulls invest their money?
A: In the stork market!
* * *
Q: What do corn use for money?
A: Corn "Bread."
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#16 2018-03-25 15:15:27

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: When do monkeys fall from the sky?
A: During Ape-ril showers!
* * *
Q: Can February March?
A: No, but April May!
* * *
Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
A: Spring-time!
* * *
Q: Why are trees very forgiving?
A: Because in the Fall they "Let It Go" and in the Spring they "turn over a new leaf".
* * *
Q: What did the tree say to spring?
A: What a re-leaf.
* * *
Q: What is a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
A: Hail!
* * *
Q: What's the difference between a horse and the weather?
A: One is reined up and the other rains down.
* * *
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Foul (fowl) weather.
* * *
Q: What did one raindrop say to the other?
A: Two's company, three's a cloud.
* * *
Q: Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio?
A: The nearest ISOBAR.
* * *
Q: How can you wrap a cloud?
A: With a rainbow.
* * *
Q: When is Monday coming?
A: MonSoon!
* * *
Q: What did the evaporating raindrop say?
A: I'm going to pieces.
* * *
Q: How do thunderstorms invest their money?
A: In a combination of liquid assets and frozen assets.
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#17 2018-03-27 00:52:46

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: What do you get when two giraffes collide?
A: A giraffic jam.
* * *
Q: What do you call a royal giraffe?
A: Your high-ness.
* * *
Q: Why don't giraffes like fast food?
A: Because they can't catch it!
* * *
Q: What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A: A longshot.
* * *
Q: What do you call an animal that turns into a boat?
A: A Girraft.
* * *
Q: Why was the giraffe late?
A: Because he got caught in a giraffic jam!
* * *
Q: When do you have to dance like a fox?
A: When your doing the fox trot.
* * *
Q: Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket?
A: Because grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can't play grasshopper!
* * *
Q: What is green and can jump a mile in a minute?
A: A grasshopper with hiccups!
* * *
Q: What's a hippos favourite kind of music?
A: Hip-hop.
* * *
Q: What did the grape say when the hippopotamus stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
* * *
Q: How do you make sure a hippo is telling you the truth?
A: Make him take the Hippocratic Oath.
* * *
Q: How can you get a hippo to do whatever you want?
A: Hipponotism.
* * *
Q: What do you call a naughty hippopotamus in nature?
A: Hip Hop Hooray...Ho..Hey...Ho.
* * *
Q: What do you call a mean hippo?
A: A hippocrite.
* * *
Q: How do you inoculate a hippo?
A: With a hippodermic needle.
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#18 2018-03-29 01:04:32

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: What's a Koalas favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala!
* * *
Q: Why did the manager hire the marsupial?
A: Because he was koala-fied.
* * *
Q: How do you apologize to a koala?
A: Bear your heart and soul.
* * *
Q: Why isn't the the koala a real bear?
A: He doesn't have the right koalifications.
* * *
Q: What do you call a guinea pig with three eyes?
A: A guinea piiig.
* * *
Q: Why was the Guinea Pig upset with his job?
A: It didn't pay enough salary (celery).
* * *
Q: Why was the guinea pig's wife upset with her diamond ring?
A: It wasn't enough karats (carrots).
* * *
Q: What did the grape say when the guinea pig stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
* * *
Q: What do you call a lion with chicken pox?
A: A dotted lion.
* * *
Q: What do you call a lion who chases camels across the desert?
A: a Chameleon.
* * *
Q: What do you call a lion wearing a stylish hat?
A: A dandy lion.
* * *
Q: Why are lions religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
* * *
Q: Where does a lion sleep?
A: Anywhere he wants to!
* * *
Q: What does a lion do on a canoe?
A: Use his Roar.
* * *
Q: What's the difference between a tiger and a lion ?
A: A tiger has the mane part missing.
* * *
Q: What is lion's favorite food ?
A: Baked beings!
* * *
Q: How do you take a lion's temperature?
A: Very carefully!
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#19 2018-04-02 00:57:55

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: What kind of bugs live in clocks?
A: Ticks!
* * *
Q: What does daylight-saving time mean in Seattle?
A: An extra hour of rain.
* * *
Q: Why did the construction worker dip his finger in blue ink?
A: To get a blue print.
* * *
Q: Do you want to hear a construction joke?
A: Oh sorry; I'm still working on it.
* * *
Q: How do construction workers party?
A: They raise the roof.
* * *
Q: What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use?
A: A dino-saw!
* * *
Q: What do you call Wall-E's cousin who cleans floors?
A: Floor-E duh!
* * *
Q: What do you call a lion who has eaten your cousin's sister?
A: An aunt-eater!
* * *
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer?
A: This won't hurt a byte.
* * *
Q: How do you get a computer drunk?
A: A Screenshot of Tequila.
* * *
Q: What was the spider doing on the computer?
A: Searching the web!
* * *
Q: How are elephants and computers similar?
A: They both have big memories.
* * *
Q: How did the spider destroy the (worldwide) web?
A: It gave it a bug.
* * *
Q: What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
A: You spend too much time on the web.
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#20 2018-04-07 00:53:28

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: What does the dentist of the year get?
A: A little plaque.
* * *
Q: At what time do most people go to the dentist?
A: At tooth-hurty (2:30).
* * *
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer?
A: This won't hurt a byte.
* * *
Q: What did the dentist see at the North Pole?
A: A molar bear.
* * *
Q: What was the dentist doing in Panama?
A: Looking for the Root Canal!
* * *
Q: Why is the chef so mean?
A: She beats the eggs and whips the cream!
* * *
Q: What was the epileptic chefs house specialty?
A: Seizure salad.
* * *
Q: How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie?
A: 3.14!
* * *
Q: What is a dog's favorite food?
A: Anything that is on your plate!
* * *
Q: Why shouldn't you worry about gaining a few extra pounds?
A: Fat people are harder to kidnap.
* * *
Q: Did you hear about the seafood diet?
A: You see food and you eat it.
* * *
Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A: A beer in each hand.
* * *
Q: What do you call someone who can't stick with a diet?
A: A deserter.
* * *
Q: Why do people on a diet eat TV dinners?
A: So they could watch what they eat!
* * *
Q: Why should you go to the paint store if your on a diet?
A: You can get thinner there.
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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#21 2018-04-09 00:39:29

ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 25,347

Re: Q and A : Part 2

Q: Where did the dolphin find the World Wide Web?
A: In a Net.
* * *
Q: How do dolphins travel long distances?
A: They whale (hail) a cab.
* * *
Q: How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
A: He prawned everything!
* * *
Q: Where do dolphins sleep?
A: In a water bed.
* * *
Q: What do donkeys send out near Christmas?
A: Mule-tide greetings.
* * *
Q: Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket?
A: Because grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can't play grasshopper!
* * *
Q: What is green and can jump a mile in a minute?
A: A grasshopper with hiccups!
* * *
Q: Why did the lamb call the police?
A: He had been fleeced.
* * *
Q: What animal sounds like a lamb but isn't?
A: A baaaa-boon!
* * *
Q: What do you call a dancing lamb?
A: A baa-lerina!
* * *
Q: What do you call a lamb that is always quiet?
A: A shhhheep!
* * *


It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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