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#1 2018-08-08 00:15:04

Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 28,271

Squirrel Jokes

Q: Why can't you be friends with a squirrel?
A: They drive everyone nuts. 
* * *
Q: Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
A: To get down to the nuts and bolts.
* * *
Q: Why couldn't the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
A: It was one tough nut to crack.
* * *
Q: What did the Psychologist say to the Squirrel with multiple personalities?
A: You're one tough nut to crack! 
* * *
Q: How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Actually, none because squirrels only change bulbs that are NUT broken.
* * *
Q: Why was the squirrel late for work?
A: Traffic was NUTS.
* * *
Q: How do you catch a carpenter squirrel (definition: a squirrel that likes power tools)?
A: Go to Home Depot and pretend to be nutwood.
* * *
Q: How do you catch a squirrel interested in ornithology?
A: Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch (Sitta carolinensis).
* * *
Q: How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a coconut.   
* * *
Q: How do you catch an English Squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like nutty.
* * *
Q: How do you catch a rich squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
* * *
Q:  What do you call an animal that solves crimes?
A: Squirrel-lock Holmes.
* * *
Q: What do squirrels drink?
A: Nut-Tea.
* * *

It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.


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