Math Is Fun Forum

Jai Ganesh

Administrator

Registered: 2005-06-28

Posts: 46,334

Short Funny Jokes - 101

During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word ‘COINCIDENCE’?”
Little Johnny volunteers, "Sir, my mum and dad were married on the same day."
* * *
Little Johnny comes proudly to his mom: “Mom, I’ve got a great idea for an invention!”
Mom: “Cool, tell me.” Johnny: “It’s a computerized hair-cutting machine. You put your head in a cube and the scissors cut whatever hairstyle you wish.”
Mom: “But how would that work, Johnny? People have all sorts of different head shapes and sizes!”
Johnny: “Only before, mom. Only before!”
* * *
Teacher: Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business?
Johnny: In Vishakhapatnam.
Teacher: How interesting. And now tell us all how it is spelled.
Johnny: Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa.
* * *
The class is having a guessing game and the teacher asks, “OK, what do you call someone who keeps on talking even though nobody else is interested anymore?”   
Little Johnny shouts eagerly, “A teacher!”
* * *
Little Johnny comes home and his father sighs, "Alright, boy, out with your report card."
Johnny says, "I don't have it, dad."
"What? Why not?" asks his father.
"I borrowed it to my friend. He wanted to freak out his parents."
* * *

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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.