Math Is Fun Forum

  Discussion about math, puzzles, games and fun.   Useful symbols: ÷ × ½ √ ∞ ≠ ≤ ≥ ≈ ⇒ ± ∈ Δ θ ∴ ∑ ∫ • π ƒ -¹ ² ³ °

You are not logged in.

#51 2005-12-07 20:08:07

Jai Ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 45,956

Re: Clean Jokes

Good thinking, justlookingforthemoment!


It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

Offline

#52 2005-12-08 04:00:54

Wanna be math wiz
Member
Registered: 2005-11-24
Posts: 38

Re: Clean Jokes

Nice puzzles Mathysperson


Imagination is more important than knowledge

Offline

#53 2005-12-08 08:30:47

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,711

Re: Clean Jokes

ganesh wrote:

Oops....MathsIsFun fell into the trap wink

Ahhh ... but did I? What looks like smile ?


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

Offline

#54 2005-12-08 10:52:17

justlookingforthemoment
Moderator
Registered: 2005-05-26
Posts: 2,161

Re: Clean Jokes

I think ganesh asked a variation of this question here, if you wanted to check.

Offline

#55 2005-12-08 11:12:08

mathsyperson
Moderator
Registered: 2005-06-22
Posts: 4,900

Re: Clean Jokes

Not so much a variation as exactly the same one, but yes, he did.


Why did the vector cross the road?
It wanted to be normal.

Offline

#56 2005-12-08 16:22:47

Jai Ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 45,956

Re: Clean Jokes

Another stupid question:
A man was born in 1969 and died in 1989. He was 25 years of age when he died. How?


It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

Offline

#57 2005-12-08 16:47:05

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,711

Re: Clean Jokes

OK, my joke needs to be explained. The smiley face look like zero. smile = 0. Groan.


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

Offline

#58 2005-12-09 05:12:39

mathsyperson
Moderator
Registered: 2005-06-22
Posts: 4,900

Re: Clean Jokes


Why did the vector cross the road?
It wanted to be normal.

Offline

#59 2005-12-21 16:31:05

Jai Ganesh
Administrator
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 45,956

Re: Clean Jokes

A mathematician, statistician and accountant were finalist for a position as VP in a large corporation. The hiring committee asked them all the same last question:

The mathematician was first."How much is 500 plus 500 ?" , they asked"1000" he replied without hesitation."Thank you", they dismissed him.

Next the statistician."How much is 500 plus 500?""On the average, 1000 with 95 % confidence" replied the statistician"Thank you", they dismissed him.

Next the accountant."How much is 500 plus 500?""What would you like it to be?" responded the accountant.They hired the accountant.

___________________________________________________

Question: What does an insomniac agnostic dyslectic do late at night?Answer: Lie awake wondering about the existence of dog.

___________________________________________________

A group of mathematicians and a group of engineers weretaking a train to attend a joint conference. 
Each of the mathematicians had a ticket, but only one of the engineers did. The mathematicians were
snickering about this when one of the engineers returned to the car and shouted, "Conductor's coming!"
All of the engineers hurried back and crammed into a restroom, and when the conductor came by, he knocked on the door

and said,"Ticket please."  The engineer with the ticket passed it under the door, and the conductor punched it

and returned it.  After the conductor left, all the engineers came piling out, and the mathematicians sat there in amazement.

On the return trip the mathematicians decided to do the same thing, so they only purchased one ticket amongst them.

This time,none of the engineers had a ticket.  The mathematicians were snickering again, when an engineer

ran in the car and said "Conductor's coming."   All of the mathematicians piled into one restroom and all

of the engineers into another.  The last engineer in knocked on the restroom of mathematicians and said,

"Ticket, please." He then took the ticket and joined the rest of the engineers.


It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

Offline

#60 2006-08-26 07:56:45

Devantè
Real Member
Registered: 2006-07-14
Posts: 6,400

Re: Clean Jokes

mathsyperson wrote:

You have a basket containing 5 apples and there are 5 people in a room. How do you give everyone in the room an apple and still leave one in the basket? There aren't any other apples in the room and you can't take apples back once you've given them to someone because that would be mean.

Or; you are the person handing out the apples, meaning you are one of the 5 people in the room. You hand everyone an apple, handing out 4 apples in total. There is 1 apple left in the basket.

Offline

#61 2006-09-29 10:36:03

White Diamond
Member
Registered: 2006-09-25
Posts: 10

Re: Clean Jokes

jU wrote:

I know this one has gone round

why was 6 afraid of 7 because 789

Didn't someone say that answer already?
(confused)

Offline

#62 2006-09-29 20:06:41

Devantè
Real Member
Registered: 2006-07-14
Posts: 6,400

Re: Clean Jokes

ganesh wrote:

Another stupid question:
A man was born in 1969 and died in 1989. He was 25 years of age when he died. How?

Time travel, maybe...?

Offline

#63 2006-09-29 23:53:15

mathsyperson
Moderator
Registered: 2005-06-22
Posts: 4,900

Re: Clean Jokes

He'd have to be quite a boring person, if he had the ability to travel in time and chose to travel just 5 years into the past. tongue


Why did the vector cross the road?
It wanted to be normal.

Offline

#64 2006-09-30 12:54:04

justlookingforthemoment
Moderator
Registered: 2005-05-26
Posts: 2,161

Re: Clean Jokes

Maybe he wanted to correct something he'd done wrong 5 years ago. Something really bad. big_smile

Offline

Board footer

Powered by FluxBB