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#26 2011-12-01 22:36:37

DaveRobinsonUK1
Member
Registered: 2011-12-01
Posts: 12

Re: Programming Joke

Hi Bobby

I am calm now. Calm Calm Calm.

No I don't think they teach that anymore. I suppose with computers being so cheap and fast compared with what they
were, they must think it is not needed anymore. I prefer to work that way. It means I can lay on a couch with a pad,
pen and cup of tea. Just like Patrick Jane! Nice!


I see it, but I don't believe it.

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#27 2011-12-01 22:56:37

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,535

Re: Programming Joke

Pen and paper is great! Sketch the ideas, develop algorithms, come up with good variable names, all before you hit the keyboard. But then I often have to revise my ideas when the reality of programming kicks in.

Another good thing: print out your code, sit down in a comfy chair (or in bed) and revise it all. Boy that can clean your code up really nicely.


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

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#28 2011-12-01 23:20:33

bobbym
Administrator
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 84,516

Re: Programming Joke

bobbym: Those ideas sound good to me.

supercoder:All those ideas are too old fashioned, dude! Ya turn up the rap music, snort, swallow, light or inject your favorite narcotic and produce 17 million lines of code.

bobbym: That is why it is bloated, spaghetti code! I mean is it necessary for a hello world program to be 100 megabytes?

supercoder:Bloated is cool man. Thin is a sin. Today's machines have terabytes of everything. If something is slow today, i just wait for a faster machine. Ya dig pops?

bobbym: I guess I never will.

supercoder: U are stills holding on to all that programmering baggage man, from when u was at NASA.

bobbym: NASA? Not exactly.

supercoder: Whatever dude! Today we produce 30 billion lines of code per week. Take Windows man, 179 billion lines of code and i wrote all of it.

bobbym: That explains a lot.
.
.
.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.

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#29 2012-09-06 04:36:24

Marco
Guest

Re: Programming Joke

A programmer goes to the shop to buy some milk. His wife calls and says "While you're out, get some eggs." He never returns.

This version makes me laugh harder roflol

#30 2012-09-06 13:49:34

Agnishom
Real Member
From: The Complex Plane
Registered: 2011-01-29
Posts: 15,895
Website

Re: Programming Joke

roflol


'And fun? If maths is fun, then getting a tooth extraction is fun. A viral infection is fun. Rabies shots are fun.'
'God exists because Mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it'
'Humanity is still kept intact. It remains within.' -Alokananda

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#31 2012-09-06 14:16:48

Agnishom
Real Member
From: The Complex Plane
Registered: 2011-01-29
Posts: 15,895
Website

Re: Programming Joke

DaveRobinsonUK1 wrote:
KrazyKyngeKorny wrote:

I knew a fellow, early twenties, who aspired to be a professional programmer.

He showed me some code for a program he was writing (BASIC).

At one point he had code like

if x < 10 then
if x < 8 then
    (code)
else if x < 5 then
    (code)

Unfortunately, much of this sort of thing goes on in professional programming.

Yeah! tell me about it. I work with artists who think because they have learned how write a small script
they are somehow equivalent to god. Not only do they do things like this, they also NEVER comment their
code. Then to add further complication they needlessly split functions out into separate files. Also they
don't document or provide test data for the program. As a result when you come to make some changes
you have to go through the whole thing line by line. They don't seem to understand the concept of making
it work on paper before going anywhere near a keyboard.

These people are a menace and have no business being in charge of a programming language.down

What is this all about?


'And fun? If maths is fun, then getting a tooth extraction is fun. A viral infection is fun. Rabies shots are fun.'
'God exists because Mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it'
'Humanity is still kept intact. It remains within.' -Alokananda

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#32 2012-12-15 22:45:27

Agnishom
Real Member
From: The Complex Plane
Registered: 2011-01-29
Posts: 15,895
Website

Re: Programming Joke

A programmer's wife told him that I can't open the jar, the Programmer told him to install Java


'And fun? If maths is fun, then getting a tooth extraction is fun. A viral infection is fun. Rabies shots are fun.'
'God exists because Mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it'
'Humanity is still kept intact. It remains within.' -Alokananda

Online

#33 2012-12-15 23:01:52

bobbym
Administrator
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 84,516

Re: Programming Joke

Hi Agnishom;

That is good. That jar will open now!


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.

Online

#34 2012-12-17 00:53:31

Agnishom
Real Member
From: The Complex Plane
Registered: 2011-01-29
Posts: 15,895
Website

Re: Programming Joke

There are only 10 kinds of people: Those who understand binary and those who do not


'And fun? If maths is fun, then getting a tooth extraction is fun. A viral infection is fun. Rabies shots are fun.'
'God exists because Mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it'
'Humanity is still kept intact. It remains within.' -Alokananda

Online

#35 2013-01-25 12:15:28

n872yt3r
Member
Registered: 2013-01-21
Posts: 392

Re: Programming Joke

Agnishom wrote:

There are only 10 kinds of people: Those who understand binary and those who do not

Did you get that from a t shirt


- n872yt3r
Math Is Fun Rocks! smile
By the power of the exponent, I square and cube you! cool

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#36 2013-01-25 15:12:36

Agnishom
Real Member
From: The Complex Plane
Registered: 2011-01-29
Posts: 15,895
Website

Re: Programming Joke

No, I got it from a page on facebook.

However, I saw a T-shirt that reads You are the {CSS} to my <HTML>


'And fun? If maths is fun, then getting a tooth extraction is fun. A viral infection is fun. Rabies shots are fun.'
'God exists because Mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it'
'Humanity is still kept intact. It remains within.' -Alokananda

Online

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