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## #1 2013-01-18 13:53:22

mathgogocart
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### Some better Jokes.

Here are some.
Teacher: What is 2k + k?
Student: 3000!
___________________
Q:What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!
______________

A math student is pestered by a classmate who wants to copy his homework assignment. The student hesitates, not only because he thinks it's wrong, but also because he doesn't want to be sanctioned for aiding and abetting.
His classmate calms him down: "Nobody will be able to trace my homework to you: I'll be changing the names of all the constants and variables: a to b, x to y, and so on."
Not quite convinced, but eager to be left alone, the student hands his completed assignment to the classmate for copying.
After the deadline, the student asks: "Did you really change the names of all the variables?"
"Sure!" the classmate replies. "When you called a function f, I called it g; when you called a variable x, I renamed it to y; and when you were writing about the log of x+1, I called it the timber of x+1..."
+____________________________________________________________
Q: How does one insult a mathematician?
A: You say: "Your brain is smaller than any e>0!"

Hey.

## #2 2013-01-18 20:13:30

bob bundy
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### Re: Some better Jokes.

hi mathgogocart

I especially liked the 'timber' joke.

It reminded me of a lesson I had many years ago.

True story.

I had given out a maths book which had the answers in the back.  Good for conscientious students as they could check their own answers but obviously open to abuse.

The questions were:

(1)  How many lines of symmetry does a rectangle have?

(2)  What is the order of rotational symmetry of an equilateral triangle.

(3)  Draw a shape that has no lines of symmetry but has rotational symmetry of order 2.

Here are the answers that one student wrote:

Bob

You cannot teach a man anything;  you can only help him find it within himself..........Galileo Galilei

## #3 2013-01-19 00:57:45

Agnishom
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### Re: Some better Jokes.

I didnt get the e > 0! Joke

'And fun? If maths is fun, then getting a tooth extraction is fun. A viral infection is fun. Rabies shots are fun.'
'God exists because Mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it'
'Who are you to judge everything?' -Alokananda

## #4 2013-01-19 03:51:23

bobbym

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### Re: Some better Jokes.

Hi;

I did not get that one either.

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.

## #5 2013-01-19 04:25:28

anonimnystefy
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### Re: Some better Jokes.

It means that the mathematicians brain tends to 0...

The limit operator is just an excuse for doing something you know you can't.
“It's the subject that nobody knows anything about that we can all talk about!” ― Richard Feynman
“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment

## #6 2013-01-19 04:34:50

bobbym

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### Re: Some better Jokes.

Hey, I am not remotely considered a mathematician and I am insulted. So you see that joke does not only work on mathematicians. I give it a nine.

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.

## #7 2013-01-19 09:20:15

mathgogocart
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### Re: Some better Jokes.

OK.Some more jokes.
_____________________________
Q: Why did the topologist's marriage fail?
A: Because he thought that arbitrary unions were open

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!

A woman in a bar tries to pick up a mathematician.
"How old, do you think, am I?" she asks coyly.
"Well - 18 by that fire in your eyes, 19 by that glow on your cheeks, 20 by that radiance of your face, and adding that up is something you can probably do for yourself..."

Hey.

mathgogocart
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Hey.

## #9 2013-02-25 01:29:49

Agnishom
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### Re: Some better Jokes.

Superb

'And fun? If maths is fun, then getting a tooth extraction is fun. A viral infection is fun. Rabies shots are fun.'
'God exists because Mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it'
'Who are you to judge everything?' -Alokananda

## #10 2013-02-25 06:36:12

ShivamS
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### Re: Some better Jokes.

Quite funny. Especially the sine and tan one.

I have discovered a truly marvellous signature, which this margin is too narrow to contain. -Fermat
Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world. -Archimedes
Young man, in mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - Neumann

mathgogocart
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