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#1 2017-01-17 04:12:43

From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 109,606

Gators hiking?


Look at him go! Now Lakeland is only 89 miles away from me... Could be the match of the century if that big fat out of shape monster wanders into my territory... Him with huge jaws, sharp claws and the strongest bite grip in nature and me with a napkin, plate and knife and fork. Ain't eatin any gator meat yet but I do not mind trying some. Bet he tastes just like chicken. Anyway, did you notice those imbeciles hiking along completely unaware that Godzilla ain't in Tokyo like those cheap movies conspire to make us believe. He lives right here in Florida enjoying the warm sun and an occasional imbecile strolling by with a camera.

You see the problem is in words like park. To a yank like myself, a park is a place with a couple of picnic tables, restrooms and water fountains. A place where Daddy can take his kids to see the ducks on the small pond in the center. Down here it has a totally different meaning. First time we got caught in what these people call a park we almost died.


Here parks have rattlers, cottonmouths, bears, feral pigs, cougars, panthers, boa constrictors, pythons and of course gators and crocs. To go into a park here you carry survival gear, you do not go around in shorts and sandals. Not unless you want to be part of the local food chain.

They use the word protected in the news report perhaps to imply that those happy meals on two legs were perfectly safe. Sorry folks, the truth is the gators are protected by federal law, the dummies ain't.

And of course the news got it all wrong again. When we were in Myakka we saw a gator at least that big and not so out of shape. That size is not amazing, it is more common than they want anyone to know.

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
Always satisfy the Prime Directive of getting the right answer above all else.


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