Discussion about math, puzzles, games and fun.   Useful symbols: ÷ × ½ √ ∞ ≠ ≤ ≥ ≈ ⇒ ± ∈ Δ θ ∴ ∑ ∫  π  -¹ ² ³ °

You are not logged in.

## #1 2018-03-07 18:37:09

ganesh
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 28,271

### School Jokes : Questions and Answers

Q: What's a teacher's favorite nation?
A: Expla-nation.
* * *
Q: What happened to the plant in math class?
A: It grew square roots.
* * *
Q: What happened when the teacher tied everyone's laces together?
A: They went on a class trip.
* * *
Q: Why wasn't the geometry teacher at school?
A: Because she sprained her angle!!
* * *
Q: Name a bus you can never enter?
A: A syllabus!
* * *
Q: Why was the student afraid of the y-intercept?
A: She thought she'd be stung by the b.
* * *
Q: What do maps and fish have in common?
A: Both have scales.
* * *
Q: What is smarter, longitude or latitude?
A: Longitude, because it has 360 degrees.
* * *
Q: "What letter of the alphabet is always waiting in order?"
A: "The Q. (queue)
* * *

It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

Offline

## #2 2018-03-16 14:36:34

ganesh
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 28,271

### Re: School Jokes : Questions and Answers

Q: When do you need to climb the ladder?
A: To get to High School.
* * *
Q: Name a bus you can never enter.
A: A syllabus.
* * *
Q: What is Black and white and read (red) all over?
A: A newspaper.
* * *
Q: "What letter of the alphabet has got lots of water?"
A: "The C".
* * *
Q: Which letters do Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday have in common?
A: None! None of them have "c", "o","m" or "n" in them.
* * *
Q: What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
A: Short.
* * *
Q: Is there a word in the English language that uses all the vowels and "y"?
A: Unquestionably!
* * *
Q: What do maps and fish have in common?
A: Both have scales.
* * *
Q: Why did the dot go to college?
A: Because it wanted to be a graduated symbol.
* * *
Q: What kind of maps do spiders make?
A: Web-based maps.
* * *
Q: How can you tell which compasses and scales are intelligent?
* * *
Q: Why does the Yeti know all the map symbols?
A: Because he's a legend.
* * *
Q: What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest?
A: A high-pot-in-use.
* * *
Q: What do you call a crushed angle?
A: A Rectangle (wrecked angle).
* * *
Q: Why wasn't the geometry teacher at school?
A: Because she sprained her angle!!
* * *

It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

Offline

## #3 2018-03-16 15:30:23

ganesh
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 28,271

### Re: School Jokes : Questions and Answers

Q: Did you hear about the great new restaurant on the moon?
A: The food is excellent, but there's no atmosphere.
* * *
Q: Where would an astronaut park his space ship?
A: A parking meteor!
* * *
Q: Why do life-sustaining planets need ammonia?
A: Because it's a basic material.
* * *
Q: What kind of song do planets sing?
A: A Nep-tune.
* * *
Q: Why wasn't the moon hungry?
A: Because it was full!
* * *
Q: Where do you bury dead people?
A: Asymmetry.
* * *
Q: Why the did the student fail anatomy?
A: Because the professor was really sternum.
* * *
Q: What do you do when you break your toe?
A: Call a toe truck.
* * *
Q: Where do hippos go to university?
A: Hippocampus.
* * *
Q: What happens when you look up geology jokes?
A: You know you've hit rock bottom!
* * *
Q: Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money?
A: They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
* * *
Q: Mountains aren't funny....?
A: They're hilarious.
* * *
Q: What did the fishing rod say to the boat?
A: Canoe help me with my homework?
* * *
Q: What did the dog say to his classmate?
A: "Can I copy your homework, I ate mine."
* * *

It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

Offline

## #4 2018-03-17 01:07:50

ganesh
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 28,271

### Re: School Jokes : Questions and Answers

Q: Why are t and m the most unused letters in the alphabet?
A: MT (empty).
* * *
Q: How do you spell mousetrap?
A: C-A-T.
* * *
Q: What ten letter word starts with g-a-s?
A: Automobile.
* * *
Q: Can you spell a pretty girl with two letters?
A: QT.
* * *
Q: What is heavy forward but not backward?
A: Ton.
* * *
Q: What's the difference between here and there?
A: The letter T.
* * *
Q: What is the most important thing a witch needs to learn in school?
A: Spelling.
* * *
Q: What is at the end of the world?
A: The letter 'd'.
* * *
Q: Can you spell eighty in two letters?
A: A-T.
* * *
Q: Who invented algebra?
A: A Clever X-pert.
* * *
Q: What is the hidden math term BOLA BOLA?
A: Parabolas (pair of bolas).
* * *
Q: How does a ghost solve a quadratic equation?
A: By completing the scare.
* * *
Q: Why did the doctor send the expression to a psychiatrist?
A: Because it wasn't rational.
* * *

It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

Offline

## #5 2018-08-12 00:08:37

ganesh
Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 28,271

### Re: School Jokes : Questions and Answers

Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the school dance?
A: He didn't have anybody to take. (any BODY).
* *
Q: What happened to the plant in math class?
A: It grew square roots.
* * *
Q: What kind of school do you find on a mountain top?
A: Heights school.
* * *
Q: Why don't you do arithmetic in the jungle?
A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate!
* * *
Q: What is a chalkboard's favorite drink?
A: A hot chalk-olate!
* * *
Q: How does a math professor propose to his fiance?
A: With a polynomial ring!
* * *
Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary?
A: Rubber-band -- because it stretches.
* * *
Q: How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature?
A: Romeostasis.
* * *
Q: What happened when the teacher tied everyone's laces together?
A: They went on a class trip.
* * *
Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin.
* * *
* * *
Q: How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles?
A: Warsaw!
* * *
Q: What gets white as it gets dirty?
A: Chalkboard.
* * *
Q: What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
A: The Nucleus.
* * *
Q: Why did the two 4's skip lunch?
* * *
Q: Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
A: Because it's basic material.
* * *
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . .
* * *
Q: Why did the teacher write on the windows?
A: Because he wanted it to be very clear.
* * *

It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

Offline