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#1 2018-12-29 01:33:44

Registered: 2005-06-28
Posts: 26,620

Accountant Jokes

Q: Why accountants don't read novels?
A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
* * *
Q: Why do accountants make good lovers?
A: They're great with figures.
* * *
Q: What is the definition of "accountant"?
A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
* * *
Q: What do accountants do for fun?
A: Add the telephone book!
* * *
Q: Why don't old accountants never die?
A: They just lose their balance!
* * *
Q: What's an extroverted accountant?
A: One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.
* * *
Q: What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?
A: Go into town and gang-audit someone.
* * *
Q: What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?
A: It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait - 13 seconds, no wait - 14 seconds, no wait......
* * *
Q: Why did the accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for three hours?
A: Because on the box it said Concentrate.
* * *
Q: What's an actuary?
A: An accountant without the sense of humour.
* * *
Q: Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
A: They find bookkeeping too exciting.
* * *
Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
A: Invite an accountant.
* * *

It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge - Enrico Fermi. 

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.


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