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Employee: Can I have a raise?
Boss: Nope.
Employee: Ok, let me rephrase it. Give me a raise or I will tell my 75 co-workers that I got one.
* * *
Many people are shocked when they found out how bad I actually am at this electrician thing.
* * *
Mr. Smith: “Doctor, do you remember this strengthening solution you prescribed me yesterday?”
Doctor: “Yes, what’s the matter?”
Mr. Smith: “I would like to use it but I can’t open the bottle!”
* * *
“Daddy, what is an alcoholic?”
“Do you see those 4 trees, son? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.”
“Um, Dad – there are only 2 trees.”
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On a first date:
Man: “When I see your smile I wish we could see each other more often.”
Woman: “Oh, you’re so charming, George…”
Man: “Not really, I’m a dentist.”
* * *
It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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