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#26 2005-11-27 22:58:09
- sonyafterdark
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- Registered: 2005-09-12
- Posts: 28
Re: Clean Jokes
please excuse me... got any NOT LAME jokes? thank you... 
An intelligent man usually knows how to reach his goals. A wise man also knows what goals to reach...
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#27 2005-11-28 07:48:31
- MathsIsFun
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- Registered: 2005-01-21
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Re: Clean Jokes
Ha ha ... that was funny ... a NOT JOKE joke.
"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..." - Leon M. Lederman
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#28 2005-11-28 08:26:09
- mathsyperson
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- Registered: 2005-06-22
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Re: Clean Jokes
Did you hear the joke about the dustman?
It's rubbish.
Why did the vector cross the road?
It wanted to be normal.
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#29 2005-11-28 13:21:43
- justlookingforthemoment
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- Registered: 2005-05-26
- Posts: 2,161
Re: Clean Jokes
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
Better not tell you... it might spread.
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#30 2005-11-28 17:06:48
- MathsIsFun
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Re: Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the man who fell into the vat of varnish?
It was terrible while it lasted ... but it was a beautiful finish!
"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..." - Leon M. Lederman
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#31 2005-11-28 17:28:55
- justlookingforthemoment
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Re: Clean Jokes
LOL!
There's far too many of these jokes:
Have you heard the joke about the roof?
It's over your head.
Heard the joke about the knife?
It's a killer.
Have you heard the joke about the wall?
I just can't get over it.
Do you know the riddle about the bed?
It hasn't been made yet.
Have you heard the one about the bread?
Better not tell you, it's crummy.
Have you heard the one about keeping an idiot in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow.
Does anybody know some more? 
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#32 2005-12-02 21:48:10
- Jai Ganesh
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- Registered: 2005-06-28
- Posts: 48,413
Re: Clean Jokes
What do you call a 200 years old buffalo?
a bison-tenary
What does Mozart do now that he is dead?
He de-composes.
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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#33 2005-12-04 08:30:32
- Roraborealis
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- Registered: 2005-03-17
- Posts: 1,594
Re: Clean Jokes
Does anybody know some more?
Did you hear the joke about the rope?
No, I rather you'd skip it.
School is practice for the future. Practice makes perfect. But - nobody's perfect, so why practice?
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#34 2005-12-04 17:14:12
- justlookingforthemoment
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- Registered: 2005-05-26
- Posts: 2,161
Re: Clean Jokes
Nice... and you're back! Well, at least for now, anyway!
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#35 2005-12-04 18:30:13
- Jai Ganesh
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- Registered: 2005-06-28
- Posts: 48,413
Re: Clean Jokes
Nice to see Rora's post....after a long time.
Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
Both crews were marooned.
Did you hear the one about the statistician?
Probably....
It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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#36 2005-12-04 18:41:35
- justlookingforthemoment
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- Registered: 2005-05-26
- Posts: 2,161
Re: Clean Jokes
They're great! I especially like the first one.
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#37 2005-12-06 06:02:09
- Jims
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- Registered: 2005-11-28
- Posts: 42
Re: Clean Jokes
If 10 potatoes is a bunch and 20 is a barrel, what are 30 and 40?
Last edited by Jims (2005-12-06 06:06:22)
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#38 2005-12-06 06:24:54
- mathsyperson
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- Registered: 2005-06-22
- Posts: 4,900
Re: Clean Jokes
Why did the vector cross the road?
It wanted to be normal.
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#39 2005-12-06 19:22:19
- Jai Ganesh
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Re: Clean Jokes
If 1=5, 2=25, 3=125, 4=625, 5=?
It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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#40 2005-12-06 19:45:21
- justlookingforthemoment
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- Registered: 2005-05-26
- Posts: 2,161
Re: Clean Jokes
3125? Except there's probably a catch.
Last edited by justlookingforthemoment (2005-12-06 19:45:54)
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#41 2005-12-06 20:02:10
- Jai Ganesh
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- Registered: 2005-06-28
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Re: Clean Jokes
Well, you fell into the trap!
The question was first started with 1=5, therefore 5=1.
When a simple solution exists, why we do we try to go for complex solutions?
This was an SMS sent to a friend of mine.
It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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#42 2005-12-06 20:14:07
- justlookingforthemoment
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- Registered: 2005-05-26
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Re: Clean Jokes
I knew there had to be trap! There always is.
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#43 2005-12-07 09:13:21
- Wanna be math wiz
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- Registered: 2005-11-24
- Posts: 38
Re: Clean Jokes
Interesting problem Ganesh. I myself fell into the trap when i first saw the question and i think we all look for complex solutions because we never expect an answer to be easy (In some cases this is not true but most of the time it is).
Imagination is more important than knowledge
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#44 2005-12-07 09:25:36
- Wanna be math wiz
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- Registered: 2005-11-24
- Posts: 38
Re: Clean Jokes
Btw Ganesh (or anybody else) could you please post some more of these "trap" puzzles they are quite interesting to figure out, but once solved you feel satisfied
Imagination is more important than knowledge
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#45 2005-12-07 10:05:17
- mathsyperson
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- Registered: 2005-06-22
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Re: Clean Jokes
I think ganesh posted this already, but a good 'trappy' one is:
What do you get if you expand out (x-a)(x-b)(x-c)...(x-z)?
Why did the vector cross the road?
It wanted to be normal.
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#46 2005-12-07 17:32:56
- MathsIsFun
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- Registered: 2005-01-21
- Posts: 7,713
Re: Clean Jokes
A very large polynomial. And something that looks like
"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..." - Leon M. Lederman
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#47 2005-12-07 19:39:47
- Jai Ganesh
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- Registered: 2005-06-28
- Posts: 48,413
Re: Clean Jokes
Oops....MathsIsFun fell into the trap 
It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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#48 2005-12-07 19:43:58
- justlookingforthemoment
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- Registered: 2005-05-26
- Posts: 2,161
Re: Clean Jokes
Ah... I know this one.
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#49 2005-12-07 20:02:18
- mathsyperson
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- Registered: 2005-06-22
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Re: Clean Jokes
You have a basket containing 5 apples and there are 5 people in a room. How do you give everyone in the room an apple and still leave one in the basket? There aren't any other apples in the room and you can't take apples back once you've given them to someone because that would be mean.
Why did the vector cross the road?
It wanted to be normal.
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#50 2005-12-07 20:05:04
- justlookingforthemoment
- Moderator
- Registered: 2005-05-26
- Posts: 2,161
Re: Clean Jokes
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