help me

Calligar · 2012-11-23 21:45:11

I don't know Agnishom, it seems to me bob bundy and bobbym are more right about you. You also seem to only be defending yourself. Out of curiosity, regardless if you are or aren't, do you want to have aspergers?

Agnishom · 2012-11-23 21:46:58

I think its the best to be out of the box

When I was 13 years old, I hurted her very much by the way I talked. Now, I realise her importance and I will never be able to forgive myself for those rudenesses. I do not clearly know what I did and how exactly it was but I believe her

Agnishom · 2012-11-23 21:49:19

Calligar, Yes! I would

Calligar · 2012-11-23 21:50:06

Hmm, well I'm not the best with dealing with people, but have you ever tried to explain yourself (not justify)? I'm just thinking it might help her to understand why you were acting the way you were.

Edit: Why do you want to have aspergers, to prove you are different?

Last edited by Calligar (2012-11-23 21:51:08)

bobbym · 2012-11-23 21:51:01

I do not clearly know what I did and how exactly it was but I believe her.

At 13 you are not really committing any great act of attrition. I would forget about her comments. When someone criticizes you, examine what they say. If they are right, they have given you something, try to fix the problem. Then forget it. If they are wrong just forget it.

Agnishom · 2012-11-23 21:56:03

If I am polite now and if I am cool brained now,
Alokananda is the only one whom I would want to thank.

She gave an example of one of my rude activities, last year. Would you like to hear it

Calligar wrote:

Why do you want to have aspergers, to prove you are different?

You can say so

bobbym · 2012-11-23 21:58:37

You are different and you do not need Asperger to be different.

Let me hear the example.

Calligar · 2012-11-23 22:00:44

I wouldn't mind hearing it, I'm just curious (sorry if I'm intruding).

Hmm, I can understand why you'd want to be different, but why not just be yourself? You are already arguably different.

Agnishom · 2012-11-23 22:05:05

You are different and you do not need Asperger to be different

LOL

The example is full of emotions which I may not be able to translate correctly: so apologies in anticipation
Last year we had a teacher in school who was a very bad person
He insulted my friends very badly
Therefore, I resolved to take revenge upon her
So at that time, I was full of anger and I wanted to cut MY OWN finger a little for a few drops of blood [please dont ask me to explain me this further]
I was in school at that time and Alokananda Sarkar saw me and objected as she is a human being
I said that I was harming my own self and not anyone else and told her not to interfere.
This was a terribly rude thing I did

I ask her to forgive me

Agnishom · 2012-11-23 22:06:45

And please dont ask me to explain the incident of this revenge further

nyway, I can understand this upto some extent but I can't interpret other incidents at all

bobbym · 2012-11-23 22:07:25

Yes, it was rude. But it is over. If she is a human being then she forgave you. You must forgive you.

Agnishom · 2012-11-23 22:09:50

Hmm..........

She is great
She changed me like no one else

bobbym · 2012-11-23 22:12:10

Hmmm. Now how about it? Are you a human being? How about forgiving this Agnishom guy?

Calligar · 2012-11-23 22:15:32

I see, but I probably agree with bobbym, I don't think she holds it against you.

Agnishom · 2012-11-23 22:18:24

Forgiving myself??!!

My God

Something was wrong again yesterday, heaven knows what.
She said that she doesn't want or like to talk to me anymore
This is why I am thinking something is wrong with me nowadays

bobbym · 2012-11-23 22:22:28

Forgiving myself??!!

Yep! You have all the earmarks of a guy that does not like himself very much. Somebody who is second guessing past decisions every day. Someone with a guilty conscience.

I know what you are feeling about her but you should not be so open to every comment someone says to you. They may not mean it. They may be temporarily annoyed at you. You have to be a bit more thick skinned.

Calligar · 2012-11-23 22:24:15

Well, unless she told you it was something you did, you don't quite know it's because of you. Something happened or changed, and you don't quite know that that is. That can't just simply mean go and blame yourself.

Agnishom · 2012-11-23 22:25:35

Hope it will be all well

You have to be a bit more thick skinned

Sometimes she also says like that

But should I be thick skinned? Should I not make a difference from others? Isn't being thick skinned == being rude?

Last edited by Agnishom (2012-11-23 22:27:04)

bobbym · 2012-11-23 22:30:11

Isn't being thick skinned == being rude?

No it is not. You have to protect yourself too. In winter you put extra clothes on because of the harsh weather, same thing dealing with people.

Agnishom · 2012-11-23 22:33:54

Maybe you are correct
She is the only one who matters so much to me
I am so depressed now.
As Nky says, I hope it will be all well between us

Bye for now
I have to study as we have our Formative Assesments from this Tuesday

Last edited by Agnishom (2012-11-23 22:34:45)

bobbym · 2012-11-23 22:34:53

Girls are great but they do not determine your worth. Think about that. Good luck! See you later.

Calligar · 2012-11-23 22:36:25

Have a great rest of the day! Hope things work themselves out...

Agnishom · 2012-11-23 22:36:30

Its not a question of my worth

She is a great personality

bobbym · 2012-11-23 22:40:28

She is but she does not define you. Your sense of self worth should not rise and fall based on what any other person says or feels about you.

You and your actions define you. That and nothing else. You should know this better than me.

Bob · 2012-11-23 22:49:44

hi Agnishom,

I go off line for a short while, and when I come back you guys have filled another Gbyte with your discussion. Eeeekkk! It's hard to keep up. But I'll try to make a useful comment. Then I have to go out and see a lady about her Christmas Pantomime show.

Agnishom wrote:

Something was wrong again yesterday, heaven knows what.
She said that she doesn't want or like to talk to me anymore

This is the same girl you persuaded to join the forum. She made two posts in response to the mega-welcome she got, and we haven't heard from her since.

I think this girl must like you. If she really wasn't going to talk to you ever again, why would she waste her time telling you this. She'd just stop talking and you'd never know why. So what she really means is "You've upset me, and it's up to you to do something about it"

So speak to her. Tell her you're sorry, find out what you did and learn from it. Make sure she is clear that you want to learn and ask her to help you. In my experience, females like to take on this role of trying to make males behave better, so she should enjoy the job.

btw. She is a member so she can read this if she wants. Maybe she is at this very moment having a good laugh at us all for trying (probably very badly) to understand her. But at least she will know you want to get it right!

Bob

Math Is Fun Forum

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