Math Is Fun Forum

You've all probably all heard this joke but here goes...

Why did the Owl, owl?
Because the spider, spide her!

Here's another one.

Why did the Lobster blush?
Because the weed, weed.

Three girls were hanging off a building by a rope. There was one brunette and two blondes. They all decided that one of them had to jump. The Brunette said how she thought that she shouldn't jump and all the blondes clapped.

There were three girls on a desert island. A red head, a brunette and a blonde. It was 60 miles to the mainland. The red head swam 15 miles, got tired and drowed. The brunette swam 25 miles, got tired and drowed. But the blonde swam 30 miles, got tired, swam back.

A plane was about to crash and there were 4 people inside but they only had three parasutes. The first guy explained how he was so important to the comunity. So he took a parasute and jumped. The second guy did the same. The two people who were left were a young boy and an old man. The old man said to the boy, "You go. You are young and I am old."
The boy replied, "Na. It's okay. The lastguy took my schoolbag."

What is the best bird at football?

A Scorrie!

(A scorrie is shetland dielect for a seagull. Shetland is an island at the top of Scottland)

One day I went to the shop with my brother and I wanted to buy a pen for my mum. I chose one and went to bye it at the till. Once I'd bought it the lady at the till asked me if i'd like a reseat. I said no and set off my way. Then some security guards caught me and asked me to show me my reseat. I said I didn't have one. They took me to the till and asked the lady if she reconized me. She said no! So my brother and I were taken to this room and were locked in. I was really upset until I noticed the window that was above a tabe. I went to the table and climbed ontop of it. I opened the window and tried to squease through but the I was too big. Then the security guys and some policed barged through the door, ran to me and started pulling my leg...JUST LIKE I'M PULLING YOURS!!!