Annoying Movie Cliches

soroban · 2010-05-07 05:37:23

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I have an informal list of truly annoying Hollowood scenes.
These were very common up to the 1980's; they are rarely seen nowadays.

Suppose my yacht was sunk and I had to swim to some island.

As I neared land, I would be checking constantly to see if my feet "hit bottom."
The instant I felt terra firma beneath my feet, I'd stop swimming
. . and probably stand there a while to catch my breath.
The water is probably lapping at my lower lip, but I'd be happy that my ordeal is over.
Then I'd slowly slog my way to shore.

But what do they do in Hollywood?
The hero swims and swims, usually with his head straight up
. . and moving his arms ineffectively.
Usually it's obvious that he's standing up and just moving his arms.
. . (Evidently none of these heroes have ever seen Olympic swimmers.)

When he's close enough to shore, he stands up.
. . And lo!, he is knee-deep in water.
He swam ten to fifty feet more than necessary.
. . In fact, his hands probably hit bottom several times already.

Why this unrealistic scenario?
. . So he can wade to shore with manly strides, of course.

Someone is supposedly conducting a symphony orchestra.
Does the actor know anything about conducting?
Has he ever seen a conductor in action?
Is there anyone on the set who can give him some pointers?
. . Evidently not.

He has his hands about a foot in front of his chest.
He has his index fingers pointing upward.
Then he swivels his wrists so his fingers point this way and that way,
. . sometimes sweeping small arcs.

That's embarrassing and insulting!

There is a world-class chess match.
The bad guy makes a move and sits back, smiling smugly.
Our hero looks troubled, then slowly makes his move,
. . and announces, "Checkmate!"
The BG's jaw drops with a Whaat? look on his face.

Imagine! . . . This is world-class Chess.
Are we to believe that the BG walked into a mate-in-one
. . and didn't see it coming?

Give me a break!

Some of you may remember an old biopic, "The Benny Goodman Story".
Steve Allen played the lead and actually learned to play the clarinet for the role.
He did a marvelous job; you could believe he really played those great jazz passages.
. . His fingering, breathing and body english were completely realistic.

But there was one scene that spoiled the entire movie for me.
"Benny" was in front, and I happened to glance at his band.

There in the front row was another clarinet player, wiggling his fingers.
. . It is as if you told a child, "Pretend you're playing a flute."

In all of Hollywood, they couldn't find four bit players
. . who knew anything about musical instruments?

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bobbym · 2010-05-07 06:11:47

All true, here are more.

These happen in every movie I have ever seen.

Ever watch them hammering away on a keyboard. It is obvious they are not typing anything.

Also annoying watching roulette dealers in movies actually spinning the ball in the wrong direction while the wheel is also turning in the wrong direction. Couldn't get one wheel dealer to show them how?

Watching blackjack dealers check their hole cards incorrectly. Dealing from right to left! Unable to pay a bet off in the right manner. Not knowing the correct way to protect their hole card.

Poker movies, the worst. Every bet made in every movie is an illegal bet. They string bet, they call bet, all illegal. No poker dealer or player would ever allow another player to do that. No technical advisers?

Rounders, hailed as more accurate than the Cincinnati kid because Johnny Chan was the tech adviser. Obviously they didn't listen to Johnny very much. The part played by John Turturro is much closer to an actual poker pro than the ridiculously flamboyant Matt Damon's part.
Win 15000 in 5 days playing those limits, no way!

soroban · 2010-05-09 03:37:57

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soroban · 2010-05-10 04:11:54

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bobbym · 2010-05-10 05:30:19

All true, soroban.

Here is a few more:

All guns have hundreds of bullets in them.
The bullets always seem to be landing at peoples feet ?!

If you are on TV and an explosion knocks you 500 ft into the air. you will always land in a puddle of water to break your fall.

The good guy always wins. No matter how much they build up the bad guy the good guy will get him. Take Collateral for instance. Cabbie versus a trained hitman. Of course the cabbie (with his eyes closed !!!!) out blasts the hitman. Cabbies are mean.

Here is another one from Vegas. There is always a scene of someone driving up and down the strip. Okay, but the casinos are never in the correct order as they exist geographically. The driver will be passing the former Stardust and then be passing The Union plaza and then the Mirage. Cool, except they are miles apart and in different parts of town.

Death: It doesn't exist. If someone is killed in a movie there is only a 39% chance that he/she will stay that way. Gort, Starman or the Silver Surfer will certainly restore you to vigorous health. That or you will rise from the dirt as a vampire or zombie. Or maybe they were just playing dead, to fool the detective like in a mystery movie.

ZHero · 2010-05-10 21:26:57

soroban wrote:

It might not happen so frequently in "Real-Chess" but this surely has been encountered often... Blunders!!!

Take a real good look at the Deep Fritz vs Kramnik where he ACTUALLY gets mated in one!
Really Sensational!

ChessGames Site

DerekH · 2010-05-15 13:05:45

soroban wrote:

That product placement campaign is the result of a lot of hard work that was done by your local French embassy or consultate to promote French cuisine through the cinema, and it brings in millions in sales of French bread around the globe each year.

soroban wrote:

Yeah, well, an officer's day-to-day duties are really time consuming. When s/he is suspended, s/he doesn't have to do all of that administrative work, and can focus on crime-fighting.

soroban wrote:

Yes, but a lot of times that scientist gets eaten. Kids are smart, they learn not to be like that scientist.

soroban wrote:

If it's a Pinto.

soroban wrote:

If it's a Toyota, it's a lot harder to miss that fruit stand then you might think.

soroban wrote:

The traffic in downtown Manhattan is bumper-to-bumper sometimes, the probability of not landing on a car or in a trash dumpster is pretty low.

soroban wrote:

Litter is a problem in any era.

soroban wrote:

When the gas gauge reads empty, there is actually still a little bit of gas left. I hear that pilots tap the gas gauge with their finger for good luck.

soroban wrote:

The homework was probably on the syllabus that the professor handed out at the beginning of the semester, but how many students actually read those?

TheDude · 2010-05-15 15:24:37

bobbym wrote:

Could you expand? I play poker sometimes with my friends, and have played once or twice at a casino table so I know we aren't playing by horribly inaccurate rules, but I've never heard of string bets or call bets.

Also, I think you guys might like http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePage

bobbym · 2010-05-15 15:46:52

Hi soroban;

Sorry, to digress from the topic of your excellent thread, I am just stopping to answer the above question.

Hi TheDude;

Things may have changed a little in 12 years but this was the def.

A string bet by casino definition is when you make two moves to make a single wager. Someone bets into you 20$ , you put 20$ in and then reach back to raise 20. Illegal! Raises must be made in one motion. You must come out with the 40 $ at once. This is considered an angle (cheap shot) to determine the strength of the other guys hand. As such it would never be done by a pro as it would damage his rep.

( Can vary a little from house to house )Call bets, verbal action is binding. In any joint one can say raise, call, fold and then attempt to not follow through with the called action. This too is considered an angle and not allowed. Check the rules before you play on this point. Again no strong pro would ever use this even though it provokes tells aplenty.

You see this in movies all the time: "I'll see your 2000$," splashes the pot ( also illegal ) reaches back to his stacks, "and raise you 10000$." Violates both rules at the same time.

We will continue now with the topic of this thread.

ZHero · 2010-05-15 18:28:22

Beat and tempo
The beat of the music is typically indicated with the conductor's right hand, with or without a baton.

Following are a few patterns traced by the movements of hands....