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What do you call a lady with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen!
Why did the teenager cross the road? Because he was told not to!!!!
Father: Every time you are naughty, son, I get another grey hair.
Son: You must have been very naughty, Dad, look at grandpa!!
What did the policeman say to his belly button? You're under a vest.
Where do cows go for fun? The moooooooovies
Pupil: Do you have any holes in your socks sir?
Teacher: No.
Pupil: How do you put them on?
There was a horse in a bar and a man came up to him and said "What is up with the long face?"
WHAT DID THE WALL SAY TO THE OTHER WALL ? ILL MEET YOU AT THE CORNER.
What do u call a black & white & red all over? Ans:A sunburnt blackboard with white chalk.Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Farmer Smith invented his new device to help him count his cows in the field quickly. What do you think he called his new invention????????? A cowculator!!! Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!!! How does a penguin get to school?? By an iceecle!! Which bear needs a doeodrant?? Pooh bear! Waiter theres a fly playing football in my soup.... It'll be playing in the cup tommorrow sir!!! Why did mickey mouse go to space.... To find pluto!!! What goes zzub zzub .... a bee going backwards!!!!!!! Hows the lad who swallowed the £1 coin.. No change yet I'm afraid!! Theres a man at the door collecting for the old peoples home, shall I give him grandpa!! Theres a man at the door collecting for the swimming pool...... Give him a glass of water!!!! Rabbits can multiply but only snakes can be adders!!! How do you stop moles digging i your garden...... Hide the spades!!!!!!! Where do hamsters come from..... Hamsterdam
Q: What is is that nobody would like to have, but nobody would like to lose? A: A bald head! Q: What is a bad word when you hear it, but a good word when you say it? A: Bingo! Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A: Because the chicken had a date! Q: Why did the insect cross the microscope? A: To get to the other slide! Q: How do you keep a skunk from smelling? A: Hold its nose! Q: Is it bad luck to have a black cat follow you? A: It depends on wether you're man or mouse! Teacher: "Mary, name the four seasons." Mary: "Salt, pepper, sugar, and vinegar." Teacher: "Mary, name four members of the cat family." Mary: "Mother cat, father cat, and two kittens."
what did the big chimney say to the little chimney? you`re too young to smoke ha ha ha
why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.
whats black,white and red all over? a sunburnt penguin.
What do you call a cat at the beach? Sandy Claws
reporter:So private, how did you save the whole regiment? private: I shot the cook!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahaha
A teacher was scolding a rude girl:"Sometimes i can't stand you !!"The rude girl replied:"then sit !"
why was 6 afraid of 7 because 7 8 9
Do you know why Math books are always sad??? .... because they have many problems.
what do call a bear with out feet bear feet
WHY DID TOM TROW THE CLOCK OUT THE WINDOW TO SEE TIME FLY
what do you call a deer with no eye . no eye deer.
what did the zebra say when he crosed the road. now you see me now you don't.
why do we go to school? to come home!
what do you call something thats black white and read all over? NEWSPAPER