Cats and Dogs Jokes

Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-03 17:49:28

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
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How do cats end a fight?
They hiss and make up.
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How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year!"
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There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out. How many were left?
None. They were all copy cats.
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What do cats use to make coffee?
A purrcolator.
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What is a cat's favorite color?
Purrr-ple!
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What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One means pause at the end of a clause, and the other means claws at the end of paws.
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Why was the cat so small?
Because it only ate condensed milk.
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How is a dog like a penny?
They both have a head and a tail.
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What do you call a dog that is left-handed?
A south paw.
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What does a lazy dog chase?
Parked cars.
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What kind of dog does a vampire prefer ?
Any kind of bloodhound.
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What kind of dog is always confused?
A mixed-up breed.
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Where do young dogs sleep when they camp out?
In pup tents.
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Which dog is a 14-carat canine?
The golden retriever.

Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-09 00:20:25

Q: Which dog is fun to play with?
A: The Toy poodle.
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Q: Which dog weighs the most?
A: The heavyweight boxer.
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Q: Which states have a lot of canines?
A: North and South Dogkota.
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Q: Why did the dalmatian go to the cleaners?
A: His coat had spots all over it.
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Q: Why did the pooch go to sleep early?
A: He was dog-tired.
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Q: Why should you walk carefully when its raining cats and dogs?
A: You might step in a poodle.
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Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-11 14:57:56

Q: What do you call a flying cat?
A: I'm-paws-sible.
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Q: What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister?
A: An aunt-eater!
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Q: What do you call a cat in a station wagon?
A: A car-pet!
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Q: Why did the cat wear a dress?
A: She was feline fine.
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Q: What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
A: The purrpatrator.
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Q: Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?
A: Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!
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Q: Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
A: To keep an eye on the mouse!
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Q: What did the cat say when he lost his toys?
A: You got to be kitten me.
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Q: Why is the desert lion everyone's favorite at Christmas?
A: Because he has sandy claws!
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Q. What kind of sports car does a cat drive?
A. A Furrari.
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Q: What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?
A: Purrr-suasive.
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Q: What do you call a cat who just ate a duck?
A: A duck-filled platy puss.
* * *
Q: What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
A: 'Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.'
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Q: What is a lion's favorite food?
A: Baked beings!
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Q: What is the cat's favorite TV show?
A: The evening mews!
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Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-12 14:00:06

Q: What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A: A catastrophe!
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Q: What do you call a cat race?
A: A meowathon.
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Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
A: An octopuss!
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Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
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Q: What is a cats favorite vegetable?
A: As-purr-agus.
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Q: Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane?
A: She let the cat out of the bag.
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Q: Why are cats so good at video games?
A: Because they have nine lives!
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Q: What's a cat's favorite button on the tv remote?
A: Paws.
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Q: Did you hear about the cat that thought she was a dog?
A: She was purr-plexed.
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Q: What do you call a cat that smells good?
A: Prrrr-fume.
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Q: What do you call a cat on ice?
A: One cool cat.
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Q: What is a cats favorite musical instrument?
A: Purr-cussion.
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Q: What do you call a cat that can address the media?
A: a Press Kit.
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Q: What is a felines favorite day of the week?
A: Caturday.
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Q: What time is it when ten cats chase a mouse?
A: Ten After One.
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Q: What do you call a cat that does tricks?
A: A magic kit.
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Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-12 18:29:51

Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
A: Terrier-fied!
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Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound!
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Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!
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Q: What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A: A golden receiver!
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Q: Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart?
A: He was CON-fused!
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Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A: A friend you can count on.
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Q: Did you hear about the dog who couldn't stop talking like a horse?
A: It was a dog and pony show.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?
A: A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!
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Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in trees!
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Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make both ends meet!
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Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!
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Q: What's a dog's ideal job?
A: Barkeology.
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Q: Why was the cat scared of the tree?
A: Because of its bark.
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Q: What did the dog say to the sandpaper?
A: Ruff.
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Q: Why did the dog stay in the shade?
A: Because he did not want to turn into a hot dog.
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Math Is Fun Forum

#1 2018-03-03 17:49:28

Cats and Dogs Jokes

#2 2018-03-09 00:20:25

Re: Cats and Dogs Jokes

#3 2018-03-11 14:57:56

Re: Cats and Dogs Jokes

#4 2018-03-12 14:00:06

Re: Cats and Dogs Jokes

#5 2018-03-12 18:29:51

Re: Cats and Dogs Jokes

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