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Dentist: "You need a crown."
Patient: "Finally someone who understands me."
* * *
A guest is ordering at a restaurant, “Do you think you could bring me what that gentleman over there is having?”
The waiter looks at him sternly, “No sir, I’m very sure he intends to eat it himself.”
* * *
Doctor: You're obese.
Patient: For that I definitely want a second opinion.
Doctor: You’re quite ugly, too.
* * *
What makes fat male penguins such a hit with penguin females?
They sure know how to break the ice.
* * *
A chubbier woman: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
Mirror: “Kindly move aside. I can’t see anything.”
* * *
Recently I introduced two of my lisping friends to each other.
After a short but rough fist fight they realized that neither was mocking the other one.
* * *
It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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