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The police stop an old guy in questionable condition at 1 am.
“What are you doing out so late, sir?” asks the police officer.
“I’m going to a seminar on ‘The harmful effects of alcohol’,” replies the man.
“Are you pulling my leg or something?!“ says the police officer, "who would hold a seminar like that at this hour?!”
The man sighs, “my wife.”
* * *
A guy leans closer to his wife. "Can you keep a secret?“ he whispers to her.
“Sure I can,” says the wife, becoming curious.
“That’s good,” whispers the man again, “so can I.”
* * *
Doctor to Mrs. Spew: “Is your daughter always stuttering like that?”
Mrs. Spew shakes her head: “No, only when she wants to say something.”
* * *
I’ve read so many horrible things about drinking and smoking recently that I made a new, firm New Year’s resolution: NO MORE READING!
* * *
Hey Sue, what do you say to a nice walk?
Oh Harry, that would be lovely!
Wonderful. Could you bring me some beer and cigarettes on your way back?
* * *
It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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It's funny, this joke was told to me by my father
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