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A guy goes to a doctor because he’s got a strawberry growing out of his chest. The doctor looks, examines and finally says, “Let me give you some cream to put on it.”
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The longest I've ever gone without a pun was 7 days. Pretty weak.
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I Googled "how to start a wildfire".
I got 48,500 matches.
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A patient bursts into a doctor's office, "Doctor, I believe I'm a deck of cards!"
The doctor calmly replies, "Go sit in the waiting room, please, I'll be dealing with you later."
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This gravity joke is getting a bit old, but I fall for it every time.
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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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