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What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing Taxi.
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An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?"
The student replied, "It is obviously past."
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You can't get on the same page with someone who has a different book.
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When I lose the TV controller, it's always hidden in some remote destination.
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Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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