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I've never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face.
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Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.
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Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting into your eyes but when I do have something in my eye it's always an eyelash. Eyeronic.
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Teacher: "What is the value of Pi?"
Student: "Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99."
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Why was the tree excited about the future? It was ready to turn over a new leaf!
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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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