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Cop: "Have you been out drinking?"
Me: "Uh yeah, I'm 28, I've been out drinking literally hundreds of times."
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Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
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Say what you want about deaf people...
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What is a lacrosse players favorite type of car? A dodge!
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Sorry, my dog ate your text message.
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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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