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What's the difference between people and tin foil? Tin foil doesn't wrinkle as it oldens.
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What's the difference between an aerobics instructor and a dentist? A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.
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I sat next to a man on the park bench. He had 9 watches on one wrist and 5 in the other. I said man "you sure do have a lot of time on your hands.
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Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
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A new poll suggests that most people will likely finish reading any sentence that starts with "A new poll suggests."
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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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What's an egg's favorite dance? The scramble!
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