Math Is Fun Forum

Jai Ganesh

Administrator

Registered: 2005-06-28

Posts: 48,395

Almost.......clean jikes!!!

The Rabbit And Snake
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.

When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.

The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.

The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!"

The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"

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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

Jai Ganesh

Administrator

Registered: 2005-06-28

Posts: 48,395

Re: Almost.......clean jikes!!!

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eys, and bows down in prayer. His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

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It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class. The teacher told the class that each student could tell the class 1 thing they got for Christmas. So, the teacher calls on a girl to come up to the front of the class and tell everyone 1 thing she got.

"My daddy got me a Bow-Wow," she said.

The teacher tells the class that they are old enough to know the correct words for things without using nicknames. The teacher tells the girl to try again. The girl thinks real hard ........

"My dad got me a dog," she said.
She sat down and a boy got up and said,
"I got a choo-choo!"

The teacher scolded him and told him to try again. The boy thought hard and said,
"I got an electric train!!"

That boy sits down and a really shy kid gets up and sadly says,
"I got a book"
The teacher feels bad for the kid and she asks,
"What was the title of the book??"

The boy thinks very hard. The class waits as the boy is thinking. Finally, the boys face brightened and he said,

"Winnie The Sh*t!!

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A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks.

The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?"

One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!"

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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

MasterofDisguise

Member

Registered: 2008-01-05

Posts: 68

Re: Almost.......clean jikes!!!

Nice Jokes but, the last one kinda offends me cuz im blonde

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(im an ALIEN ) im kool (WHAT You cant steal my fridge!)]

LuisRodg

Real Member

Registered: 2007-10-23

Posts: 322

Re: Almost.......clean jikes!!!

You need to loosen up. Its a joke

Roraborealis

Member

Registered: 2005-03-17

Posts: 1,594

Re: Almost.......clean jikes!!!

They're really, really, good. Especially the second one!

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School is practice for the future. Practice makes perfect. But - nobody's perfect, so why practice?

power man

Member

Registered: 2006-12-26

Posts: 160

Re: Almost.......clean jikes!!!

oh come on coolkiddavid those are some good jokes, especailly the golfing one

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I hate people who hate people.
most people make mistakes, butt not me!
why     is     it     when     you     are     writing     something     important     you     run     out       of        spa

coconut

Member

Registered: 2008-03-02

Posts: 9

Re: Almost.......clean jikes!!!

once again power man i like your signature so does my sis so awesome

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shimmy shimmy coconut shimmy shimmy nut

power man

Member

Registered: 2006-12-26

Posts: 160

Re: Almost.......clean jikes!!!

thanks made it myself

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I hate people who hate people.
most people make mistakes, butt not me!
why     is     it     when     you     are     writing     something     important     you     run     out       of        spa