Math Is Fun Forum

Sonic the hedgehog

Member

Registered: 2008-09-03

Posts: 52

The Panda

A panda walks into a bar and has a hamburger, after he eats he pulls out a gun and shoots everyone in the room, he then leaves, a bystander who saw what the panda had done runs after the panda and asks him "Why did you do that?".
The panda pulls out a dictunary,looks up "Panda", and then replys "It says here that a pana eats, shoots and leaves".

Last edited by Sonic the hedgehog (2009-08-28 19:12:03)

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I would not want to be a politician... Let me tell you this: If I was campaigning, and I go against my opponent and he started attacking my character, and I leap over the table and choke him unconscious, would that help my campaign? --Chuck Norris--

phrontister

Real Member

From: The Land of Tomorrow

Registered: 2009-07-12

Posts: 4,879

Re: The Panda

I like that!

Reminds me of "Residents refuse to go into the bins", which is missing the apostrophe that would give it the intended meaning...and at the same time change the pronunciation of one of the words.

"Eats, Shoots & Leaves"...I have that book. Here are images from it: the cover page and the panda story.

Last edited by phrontister (2009-08-29 23:46:58)

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"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

soroban

Member

Registered: 2007-03-09

Posts: 452

Re: The Panda

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Identity

Member

Registered: 2007-04-18

Posts: 934

Re: The Panda

I like that!

Reminds me of "Residents refuse to go into the bins", which is missing the apostrophy that would give it the intended meaning...and at the same time change the pronunciation of one of the words.

"Eats, Shoots & Leaves"...I have that book. Here are images from it: the cover page and the panda story.

Ah Eats shoots and Leaves, I had to study that book as part of English Language, and I thoroughly disliked it

phrontister

Real Member

From: The Land of Tomorrow

Registered: 2009-07-12

Posts: 4,879

Re: The Panda

...I had to study that book as part of English Language, and I thoroughly disliked it

I thought it was very good...the author's witty style and her informative content. But I didn't have to study the book, which can make all the difference.

I disliked Thomas Hardy's "The Mayor of Casterbridge" as a compulsory school novel, but have since read many other books of his and enjoyed them so much that I reread TMoC, this time around thoroughly enjoying it and feeling quite moved by the tragic tale.

Last edited by phrontister (2009-09-29 20:26:21)

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"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

Tigeree

Member

Registered: 2005-11-19

Posts: 13,883

Re: The Panda

Thats pretty good, Sonic! & nice puns, soroban.

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People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

phrontister

Real Member

From: The Land of Tomorrow

Registered: 2009-07-12

Posts: 4,879

Re: The Panda

Hi soroban,

Great triple pun!

This altered version has a quadruple pun:

Three brothers left home to establish a cattle ranch out east. They could not think of an appropriate name for the ranch and called their father back home, who suggested the name “Focus”...for that’s “where the sun’s rays meet” ("sons raise meat").

When their father died the name took on added significance for them, through “where the morning sun’s rays meet” ("mourning sons raise meat").

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"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

soroban

Member

Registered: 2007-03-09

Posts: 452

Re: The Panda

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Hello, phrontister!

A quadruple pun . . . Fantastic!

Thank you!
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phrontister

Real Member

From: The Land of Tomorrow

Registered: 2009-07-12

Posts: 4,879

Re: The Panda

Reminds me of "Residents refuse to go into the bins", which is missing the apostrophe that would give it the intended meaning...and at the same time change the pronunciation of one of the words.

Any takers...? That missing fly-spot makes the world of difference!

I heard that one on the radio during a discussion about the much-misused/misunderstood/abused/forgotten apostrophe. The 'greengrocer's apostrophe' (one of my pet hates) was also mentioned, of course.

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"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

Sonic the hedgehog

Member

Registered: 2008-09-03

Posts: 52

Re: The Panda

Thats pretty good, Sonic! & nice puns, soroban.

Thanks!

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I would not want to be a politician... Let me tell you this: If I was campaigning, and I go against my opponent and he started attacking my character, and I leap over the table and choke him unconscious, would that help my campaign? --Chuck Norris--

soroban

Member

Registered: 2007-03-09

Posts: 452

Re: The Panda

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phrontister

Real Member

From: The Land of Tomorrow

Registered: 2009-07-12

Posts: 4,879

Re: The Panda

They're two excellent examples of ambiguity, soroban!

A bit like optical illusions that have two interpretations...after you see one the other may not be immediately apparent.

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"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do." - Ted Nelson

Sonic the hedgehog

Member

Registered: 2008-09-03

Posts: 52

Re: The Panda

Please send more! I'm enjoying these!

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I would not want to be a politician... Let me tell you this: If I was campaigning, and I go against my opponent and he started attacking my character, and I leap over the table and choke him unconscious, would that help my campaign? --Chuck Norris--

Tigeree

Member

Registered: 2005-11-19

Posts: 13,883

Re: The Panda

So ambiguous. ....

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People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.