Q & A

Jai Ganesh · 2018-02-14 01:21:52

Q: Why did the crazy scientist prevent the sick eagle from entering his lab?
A: Simply, because it was ill-eagle or illegal!
* * *
Q: How are tough chickens made?
A: They are made from hard boiled eggs.
* * *
Q: What is a pussycat who eats lemon called?
A: A sourpuss.
* * *
Q: Which state in the happiest in the USA?
A: Merry Land (Maryland).
* * *
Q: Where do boars save their cash?
A: Piggy banks, of course.
* * *
Q: How did the crazy scientist stretch his imagination?
A: He simply put an elastic band around his head.
* * *
Q: What do you call a foreign ant?
A: Import-Ant.
* * *
Q: Why aren’t there any giraffes in the elementary school?
A: Obviously, they are all in the High School.
* * *
Q: What was the reason for the computer to break up with the internet?
A: There was no "connection.”
* * *
Q: Why did the production line-man put a clock under his desk?
A: To work over-time.
* * *
Q: How do you repair a broken tomato?
A: Use tomato paste.
* * *
Q: What type of electricity do they have in Washington?
A: Direct Current or D.C.
* * *
Q: Which day of the week is the best day to go to the beach?
A: On a Sun Day.
* * *
Q: Which insect runs away from basically everything?
A: The Flee.
* * *
Q: What happened to the dog that ate the firefly?
A: It barked with “de-light.”
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-02-14 23:30:52

Q: How can you eat an egg without breaking the shell?
A: Ask someone else to break it.
* * *
Q: Did you hear the story about the Peacock?
A: It is a beautiful tail [tale].
* * *
Q: While dogs have fleas, what do sheep have?
A: They have fleece.
* * *
Q: How can you spell “too much” using just two letters?
A: XS.
* * *
Q: Which thief is the strongest?
A: The shoplifter.
* * *
Q: Which person’s profession involves a lot of shouting?
A: The “I Scream Man” [ice-cream man].
* * *
Q: Which house weighs the least?
A: The lighthouse.
* * *
Q: Which fruit has been there since man invented the calendar?
A: Dates.
* * *
Q: What is purple and is five thousand miles long?
A: The “Grape Wall of China” [Great Wall].
* * *
Q: Where can you always find health, wealth, and happiness?
A: The Dictionary.
* * *
Q: How do crazy people travel through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
* * *
Q: Why was the student's report card wet?
A: It was below C level.
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-02-15 17:46:05

Q: It took 20,000 workers to build the Taj Mahal in 20 years. How many workers would be required to build it in 10 years?
A: The Taj Mahal cannot be built again.
* * *
Q: Which one is correct? “Penguins flies” or “A Penguin flies”
A: Neither. Penguins don’t fly.
* * *
Q: How many sides does a circle have?
A: Two. An inside and an outside.
* * *
Q: If there are 12 fish and half of them drown, how many are there?
A: 12, fish don’t drown!
* * *
Q: What happened when wheel was invented?
A: It caused a revolution.
* * *
Q: What ended in the year 1919?
A: 1918 – yes, the year 1918 ended when the New Year 1919 begins!
* * *
Q: There are innumerable tables of this kind, but there are no legs. What is that?
A: Multiplication tables and time tables!
* * *
Q: Most of the kids love to carry these keys. What are those keys?
A: Cookies!
* * *
Q: What is the difference between here and there?
A: The Letter T.
* * *
Q: Name any one major reason that causes divorce.
A: Marriage.
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-02-20 00:51:55

Q: Which is the loudest state in the U.S.A.?
A: ILLI NOISE.
* * *
Q: What did the little boat say to the yacht?
A: Can I interest you in a little row-mance?
* * *
Q: Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
A: Sherlock Bones!
* * *
Q: What’s the name of a six-sided polygon?
A: Sixagon.
* * *
Q: What is an acid with a serious attitude problem?
A: A-mean-oh-acid!
* * *
Q: How come Iron Man is a woman?
A: Because Fe-Male.
* * *
Q: What is a cat’s favorite car?
A: “A Catillac”!
* * *
Q: If TVs run on electricity and trucks run on gas, what do cats run on?
A: Their four paws.
* * *
Q: What do you call a cat who gets her way no matter what?
A: Purrsuasive.
* * *
Q: Have you heard about the cat who climbed the Himalayas?
A: She was a renowned sher-paw.
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-02-21 01:54:34

Q: Where do eggplants come from?
A: Chicken plants.
* * *
Q: Can a match box?
A: No, but a tin can.
* * *
Q: What do you call a girl who's just come back from the beach?
A: Sandy.
* * *
Q: What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?
A: "Someday my prints will come."
* * *
Q: How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
A: You rocket.
* * *
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: "A miner be flat" (A minor B-flat).
* * *
Q: Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?
A: Cause he was outstanding in his field.
* * *
Q: What do you do with epileptic lettuce?
A: You make a seizure salad.
* * *
Q: What do you call a wandering caveman?
A: A meanderthal.
* * *
Q: What was Ludwig van Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A: Ba-na-na-na!
* * *
Q: What did the buffalo say to her child as he left for school?
A: "Bison!" (bye son).
* * *
Q: When are holes beautiful?
A: When they're gorges.
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-02-22 11:42:49

Q: What does a cat like to eat with birthday cake?
A: Mice cream!
* * *
Q: Did you hear about oxygen's second date with potassium?
A: It was OK2!
* * *
Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?
A: Neigh buzz!
* * *
Q: What does my dog do when he goes to bed?
A: He reads a bite-time story.
* * *
Q: What do dogs do when watching a DVD?
A: They press paws.
* * *
Q: Why can’t dogs drive?
A: They can’t find a barking space.
* * *
Q: Why did the burglar rob a bakery?
A: He needed the dough.
* * *
Q: What vitamin helps you to see?
A: Vitamin C.
* * *
Q: Why did the ice cream cone take karate lessons?
A: It was tired of getting licked.
* * *
Q: How do you make fire with two sticks?
A: Make sure one is a match.
* * *
Q: What do rabbits do when they get married?
A: They go on a bunnymoon.
* * *
Q: In what school do you learn how to greet people?
A: Hi school.
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-02-22 21:39:07

Q. Why can’t you run through a camp ground?
A. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
* * *
Q: What kind of dogs like car racing?
A: Lap dogs.
* * *
Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat?
A: A heavy discussion.
* * *
Q: What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
A: Reality.
* * *
Q: Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?
A: He takes things personally.
* * *
Q: How do you find a Princess?
A: You follow the foot Prince.
* * *
Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A: It let out a little wine!
* * *
Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.
* * *
Q: How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
A: With Tyrannosaurus checks.
* * *
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
* * *
Q: What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
A: Wet feet.
* * *
Q: What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?
A: Dead.
* * *
Q: Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.
* * *
Q: What has 6 eyes but can't see?
A: 3 blind mice.
* * *
Q: How does a pig go to hospital?
A: In a hambulance.
* * *
Q: What bone will a dog never eat?
A: A trombone.
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-02-23 14:42:26

Q: How can you tell if a planet is married?
A: It has a ring around it.
* * *
Q: How do they put out fires at the post office?
A: They stamp them out.
* * *
Q: How do you revive a drowning rodent?
A: Give it mouse-to-mouse resuscitation.
* * *
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A: A stick.
* * *
Q: What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A: A lawn moo-er.
* * *
Q: What do you call a veterinarian with laryngitis?
A: A hoarse doctor.
* * *
Q: What do you call bedtime stories for boats?
A: Ferry tales.
* * *
Q: What do you call it when worms take over the world?
A: Global Worming.
* * *
Q: What do you get when you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
A: An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
* * *
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A: A pachydermatologist.
* * *
Q: What is a cannibal's favorite type of TV show?
A: A celebrity roast.
* * *
Q: What kind of bird can write?
A: A penguin.
* * *
Q: What kind of flowers grow in outer space?
A: Sunflowers.
* * *
Q: What would you get if you crossed a potato and a frog?
A: A potatoad.
* * *
Q: Where do otters come from?
A: Otter space.
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-02-24 16:18:26

Q: What goes "Tick tock, woof woof"?
A: A watch dog.
* * *
Q: What kind of necktie does a pig wear?
A: A pigsty.
* * *
Q: What magazine do cats like to read?
A: Good Mousekeeping.
* * *
Q: What makes a bowling alley so quiet?
A: You can hear a pin drop.
* * *
Q: What's happening when you hear "woof...splat...meow...splat?"
A: It's raining cats and dogs.
* * *
Q: Where did the vegetables go to get drunk?
A: The Salad Bar.
* * *
Q: Which day of the week is the best for a dental appointment?
A: Toothday.
* * *
Q: Why did Robin Hood rob only the rich?
A: Because the poor had no money.
* * *
Q: Why did the garbage look sad?
A: Because it was down in the dumps.
* * *
Q: Why did the man put wheels on his rocking chair?
A: He wanted to rock and roll.
* * *
Q: Why do bicycles fall over?
A: Because they are two-tired.
* * *
Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A: Because it's too far to walk.
* * *
Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A: It's quicker than driving.
* * *
Q: Why don't fish play tennis?
A: They might get caught in the net.
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-02-25 00:26:18

Q: Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?
A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
* * *
Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
A: By the footprints in the butter!
* * *
Q: What is the snake’s favorite subject?
A: Hiss-story!
* * *
Q: What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?
A: Me-ow!
* * *
Q: Where does an elephant pack his luggage?
A: In his trunk!
* * *
Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
A: None, because they were copycats!
* * *
Q: Why was the cat afraid of a tree?
A: Because of the bark!
* * *
Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
A: Do you want to grab a bite?
* * *
Q: How is a dog like a telephone?
A: It has a collar I.D.
* * *
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!
* * *
Q: What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?
A: Five after one.
* * *
Q: Why did the elephant leave the circus?
A: He was tired of working for peanuts.
* * *
Q: Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
A: Catfish.
* * *
Q: What do fish take to stay healthy?
A: Vitamin sea.
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-02-28 00:55:00

Q: What do you call an exploding monkey?
A: A baboom!
* * *
Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
* * *
Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish.
* * *
Q: What is King Arthur’s favorite fish?
A: A swordfish!
* * *
Q: Why don’t bears wear shoes?
A: What’s the use, they’d still have bear feet!
* * *
Q: What does a calf become after it’s 1 year old?
A: 2 years old.
* * *
Q: What do camels use to hide themselves?
A: Camelflauge!
* * *
Q: What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A: Is that you mommy?
* * *
Q: What is a frog’s favorite year?
A: Leap Year!
* * *
Q: What is a horse’s favorite sport?
A: Stable tennis!
* * *
Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they are black and white.
* * *
Q: What is a lion’s favorite state?
A: Maine.
* * *
Q: What’s a puppy’s favorite kind of pizza?
A: Pupperoni.
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-02-28 17:23:35

Q: How do you make a fire with two sticks?
A: Make sure one is a match!
* * *
Q: What’s the slipperiest country?
A: Greece!
* * *
Q: Why can’t you say a joke while standing on ice?
A: Because it might crack up!
* * *
Q: Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?
A: It ran out of juice!
* * *
Q: What is at the end of everything?
A: The letter G.
* * *
Q: What is the world’s longest punctuation mark?
A: The hundred yard dash.
* * *
Q: What is black when clean, and white when dirty?
A: A blackboard.
* * *
Q: What kind of driver has no arms or legs?
A: A screwdriver.
* * *
Q: Why would Snow White make a great judge?
A: She was the fairest in the land.
* * *
Q: What do you give a lemon in distress?
A: Lemonade.
* * *
Q: What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?
A: You’re the only bright spot in my life.
* * *
Q: What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?
A: One minds the train, one trains the mind.
* * *
Q: What do you call a scared train?
A: A fright train!
* * *
Q: What does one bucket say to the other?
A: I am feeling pale today.
* * *
Q: Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?
A: His son, because he’s a little Bigger!
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-01 15:26:59

Q: What is worse then having a baby screaming?
A: Two babies screaming!
* * *
Q: Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?
A: To see how long he slept.
* * *
Q: What has three letters and and starts with gas?
A: A car.
* * *
Q: What kind of potato chips fly?
A: Plane ones.
* * *
Q: What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?
A: They are both rolling in the dough!
* * *
Q: Why did the gardener plant his money?
A: He wanted his soil to be rich!
* * *
Q: Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?
A: She was caught taking a brake.
* * *
Q: Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?
A: No one can eat just one potato ship.
* * *
Q: What did one flower say to the other flower?
A: Hey, bud!
* * *
Q: Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?
A: He had no patients.
* * *
Q: Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?
A: She wanted to see a butterfly.
* * *
Q: Where do all the letters sleep?
A: In the alphabed.
* * *
Q: What’s in the middle of nowhere?
A: The letter H.
* * *
Q: What can you hold without using your hands?
A: Your breath!
* * *
Q: What has holes all over and holds water?
A: A sponge!
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-02 00:16:48

Q: Why are kindergarten teachers so good?
A: They can make little things count.
* * *
Q: Why don’t honest people need beds?
A: They don’t lie.
* * *
Q: There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn’t they get wet?
A: It wasn’t raining!
* * *
Q: What kind of band can’t play music?
A: A rubber band.
* * *
Q: What is the difference between a fly and Superman?
A: Superman can fly, but a fly cannot Superman!
* * *
Q: Why did the student eat her homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
* * *
Q: Why are babies good at soccer?
A: Because they dribble!
* * *
Q: What is a baby’s motto?
A: If at first you don’t succeed, cry and cry again!
* * *
Q. Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?
A. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
* * *
Q: What is the opposite of a restaurant?
A: A workaraunt.
* * *
Q: What do you call a young army?
A: Infantry.
* * *
Q: Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?
A: Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
* * *
Q: What would you call a humorous knee?
A: Fun-ny!
* * *
Q: What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?
A: An onion.
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-02 15:08:50

Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.
* * *
Q: What do you do when your chair breaks?
A: Call a chairman.
* * *
Q: How do you make an egg laugh?
A: Tell it a yolk.
* * *
Q: What has one horn and gives milk?
A: A milk truck.
* * *
Q: What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?
A: Sleep somewhere else.
* * *
Q: What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A: A dead centipede.
* * *
Q: Where do fortune tellers dance?
A: At the crystal ball.
* * *
Q: What did the limestone say to the Geologist?
A: Don't take me for granite!
* * *
Q: How do you cut the sea in half?
A: With a see saw!
* * *
Q: Why did the firefly get bad grades is school?
A: He wasn’t very bright!
* * *
Q: How did the astronaut serve dinner in outer space?
A: On flying saucers!
* * *
Q: Why was the ant so confused?
A: Because all his uncles were “ants!”
* * *
Q: Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?
A: To see Pluto!
* * *
Q: What do astronauts like to read?
A: Comet books!
* * *
Q: How do scientists freshen their breath?
A: With Experi-Mints!
* * *
Q: What can run, but cannot walk?
A: Water!
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-03 14:52:44

Q: How can a pants pocket be empty and still have something in it?
A: It can have a hole in it.
* * *
Q: If I drink, I die. If i eat, I am fine. What am I?
A: A fire!
* * *
Q: If I have it, I don’t share it. If I share it, I don’t have it. What is it?
A: A Secret.
* * *
Q: What has hands but can not clap?
A: A clock.
* * *
Q: What has one eye but cannot see?
A: A needle.
* * *
Q: They come out at night without being called, and are lost in the day without being stolen. What are they?
A: Stars!
* * *
Q: What do you call two ants that run away to get married?
A: Ant-elopes!
* * *
Q: Why does a stork stand on one leg?
A: Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
* * *
Q: How do chickens get strong?
A: Egg-cersize.
* * *
Q: Why did the sun go to school?
A: To get brighter!
* * *
Q: How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?
A: When it’s full.
* * *
Q: What’s a light-year?
A: The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
* * *
Q: Why did the cow go to outer space?
A: To visit the milky way.
* * *
Q: Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A: A dino-sewer.
* * *
Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a snake?
A: A jump rope!
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-04 17:53:59

Q: What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age?
A: Remove your spectacles!
* * *
Q: What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women?
A: Age.
* * *
Q: If a cat has nine lives, what has more?
A: A frog – it croaks every day.
* * *
Q: What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet?
A: A magnet has a positive side.
* * *
Q: What falls regularly although never gets hurt?
A: Rain!
* * *
Q: What can you serve but never eat?
A: A volleyball.
* * *
Q: Why are penguins socially awkward?
A: Because they can't break the ice.
* * *
Q: Why is a horse like a wedding?
A: Because they both need a groom!
* * *
Q: What is a witches favorite part in school?
A: Spelling!
* * *
Q: Where does a rabbit learn how to fly?
A: In the hare force.
* * *
Q: What is round as a cookie, busy as a bee? What can it be?
A: A watch!
* * *
Q: Why did the house go to the doctor?
A: Because he had window panes!
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-05 15:35:18

Q: Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A: To get to the other slide!
* * *
Q: What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Indian Ocean?
A: Try and be more Pacific!
* * *
Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A: To find a tight seal.
* * *
Q: Who solves mysteries involving electricity?
A: Sherlock Ohms!
* * *
Q: Why are chemists perfect for solving problems?
A: Because they have all the solutions.
* * *
Q: What does my dog do when he goes to bed?
A: He reads a bite-time story.
* * *
Q: Why don’t ducks ever have spare change?
A: They only carry bills.
* * *
Q: What do rabbits do when they get married?
A: They go on a bunnymoon.
* * *
Q: How does a lion greet other animals in wild?
A: Please to eat you.
* * *
Q: Why was the girl sitting on her watch?
A: Because she wanted to be on time.
* * *
Q: When do astronauts eat?
A: At launch time.
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-06 00:58:56

Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A: You look flushed!
* * *
Q: What lights up a soccer stadium?
A: A soccer match!
* * *
Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
A: Odor in the court.
* * *
Q: How do hens cheer for their team?
A: They egg them on!
* * *
Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
A: Spring time.
* * *
Q: Why did Roger go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a date!
* * *
Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
A: To go with the traffic jam!
* * *
Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
* * *
Q: What streets do ghosts haunt?
A: Dead ends!
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-08 13:28:48

Q: Did you hear about the cowboy who got himself a dachshund?
A: Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little doggie.
* * *
Q: Where do mice park their boats?
A: At the hickory Dickinson dock.
* * *
Q: How does a dog stop a video?
A: He presses the paws button.
* * *
Q: What do you call lending money to a bison?
A: A buff-a-loan.
* * *
Q: How do you make a goldfish old?
A: Take away the g!
* * *
Q: Why did the dog cross the road twice?
A: He was trying to fetch a boomerang!
* * *
Q: What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?
A: A woolen jumper!
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-08 18:05:57

Q: What do you call a tense clock?
A: All wound up!
* * *
Q: What did the robber say to the clock?
A: Hands up!
* * *
Q: What do you call a grandfather clock?
A: An old timer!
* * *
Q: Why did the scientist drop a wrist watch into his flask?
A: He was looking for a timely solution.
* * *
Q: What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?
A: A Candy Baa!
* * *
Q: What kind of candy is never on time?
A: Choco-LATE.
* * *
Q: If Bob has 30 chocolate bars, and eats 25, what does he have?
A: Diabetes.
* * *
Q: What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?
A: An astronut!
* * *
Q: Why did the peanuts run across the busy road?
A: Because they were nuts!
* * *
Q: Where did the peanuts go to have a few drinks?
A: The Snack Bar!
* * *
Q: What kind of nuts hang?
A: Wallnuts.
* * *

Jai Ganesh · 2018-03-18 16:46:07

Q: When does it rain money?
A: When there is "change" in the weather.
* * *
Q: How much money does a skunk have?
A: One scent!
* * *
Q: Where do seagulls invest their money?
A: In the stork market!
* * *
Q: Why did the idiot go broke?
A: Because he had no cents.
* * *
Q: What do fish use for money?
A: Sand dollars!
* * *
Q: Where does a fish keep his money?
A: In the River Bank!
* * *

Math Is Fun Forum

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