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Q: What did the astronaut say when he wanted to be alone?
A: "Give me some space!"
* * *
A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness, when he stopped and said, "I object, your honor! One of the jurors is asleep."
The Judge ruled, "You put him to sleep, so you wake him up."
* * *
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
* * *
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
The first says to the second, "I think I've lost an electron."
The second replies, "Are you sure?" to which the first retorts, "Yes, I'm positive."
* * *
Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?
A: Because Donald ducked!
* * *
It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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