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**ganesh****Administrator**- Registered: 2005-06-28
- Posts: 35,523

A man was walking down the street and saw a sign in a store window that said "Help Wanted," so the man ran in the store and yelled out, "What's wrong?!"

* * *

A scientist and a philosopher are being chased by a hungry lion.

The scientist makes some quick calculations and says, “It's no good trying to outrun it. It's catching up!”

The philosopher keeps a little ahead and replies, “I'm not trying to outrun the lion, I'm trying to outrun you!”

* * *

An infinite crowd of mathematicians enter a bar.

The first one orders a pint, the second one orders half a pint, the third one orders a quarter pint.

The bartender says, "I understand," and pours two pints.

* * *

If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

* * *

Boss: Do you believe in life after death?

Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.

Boss: Well there is now !

Employee: How?

Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left!

* * *

It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

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