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A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence.
"My father grows beans," said one girl.
"My mother cooks beans," said a boy.
A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
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Q. How much room is needed for fungi to grow?
A. As mushroom as possible!
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A disciple went to his master and said, "I have served you faithfully for ten years. Now I have a wish: give me something to eat which will never end."
His master said, "Here, have some chewing gum."
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I work at a local fast food joint.
It cracks me up when a fat customer orders a quadruple stacked cheeseburger, with extra sauce, a ton of extras, extra large fries with extra sauce, and then orders a small diet coke.
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A crab walks into a bar and asks for something to drink.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we do not serve food."
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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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