Math Is Fun Forum

Jai Ganesh

Administrator

Registered: 2005-06-28

Posts: 48,395

Short Funny Jokes - 115

A man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog.
He asks the shop assistant, “Does your dog bite?”
“No, my dog doesn’t bite.”
The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously.
A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, “Hey, you said your dog doesn’t bite!”
The shop clerk shrugs, “He doesn’t. But that wasn’t my dog.”
* * *
A ship has been badly damaged in a storm and things don’t look good.
The crew assembles on the deck and the captain shouts over the howling wind, “Men, it’s bad. The helm is broken off, we have three huge holes, I really don’t see this beauty making it to the shore. Is there anyone among you who knows how to pray?”
Paul steps up and says, “I can, and I will, captain!”
“Excellent, you do that,” shouts the captain.
“Now the rest of you put on your life jackets, we were missing one.”
* * *
There are only two instances when people hate the alarm clock: 1) When it rings; 2) When it doesn’t ring.
* * *
I just read my horoscope for tomorrow: “Everybody will praise you enormously, they’ll be bringing you flowers, even carrying you on their shoulders.”
Is it just me or does it sound suspiciously like a funeral…
* * *

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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.