Math Is Fun Forum

Jai Ganesh

Administrator

Registered: 2005-06-28

Posts: 48,395

Short Funny Jokes - 116

Doctor to a patient: "I have good and bad news for you. Which one would you like to hear first?"
"The good one please." "I found the diagnosis of your illness, it means you have two days to live."
"And the bad one?"
"I’ve been trying to reach you for two days."
* * *
I read in the newspaper that they can train dogs now to smell terminal illnesses in people.
Imagine going for a walk with a dog like that!
“What a lovely dog, he seems to like me!”
“Oh, I’m deeply sorry.” “
* * *
You know how it is in life. One door closes – that means another door opens…”   
“Yeah, very nice, but you either fix that or I’m expecting a serious discount on that car!”
* * *
Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open.
Husband replies: “Carefully pour some warm water over it and tap the edges first with your hand, if that doesn’t work, then gently with a hammer.”
15 minutes later, the wife texts back: “Oh no, I think the laptop is now totally gone.”
* * *

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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.