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People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now.
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My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up."
"Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."
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I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
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A straight face and a sincere-sounding "Huh?" have gotten me out of more trouble than I can remember.
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My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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