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1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
3. Employ the vernacular.
4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
6. Remember to never split an infinitive.
7. Contractions aren't necessary.
8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
9. One should never generalize.
10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
12. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
13. Be more or less specific.
14. Understatement is always best.
15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
17. The passive voice is to be avoided.
18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
20. Who needs rhetorical questions?
21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
22. Don't never use a double negation.
23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point
24. Do not put statements in the negative form.
25. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
28. A writer must not shift your point of view.
29. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
30. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.
32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
36. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
37. Always pick on the correct idiom.
38. The adverb always follows the verb.
39. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They're old hat; seek viable alternatives.
It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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Wow!! (Oops, I just violated 14, 15 and 30)
"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..." - Leon M. Lederman
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I applaud such magnificent witicisms.
Last edited by Zach (2005-10-06 10:18:23)
Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
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this is really a comprehensive list
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Is this a part of the jokes or is it true? I don't understand.
Quote Of The Month:
'Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.' - Art Buchwald.
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Is this a part of the jokes or is it true? I don't understand.
He wrote about the rules while violating them in the same line.
pi³
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Intended to be a joke.
It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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One of the best jokes I've seen!
Learning is fun - Exceptio probat regulam!
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This is so funny, so insane!
Quote Of The Month:
'Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.' - Art Buchwald.
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Thanks!
It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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You're wecome. These jokes are one of the smartest that I've ever seen. Great Job!
Quote Of The Month:
'Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.' - Art Buchwald.
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true best jokes
call me a queen uwu cuz im cute uwu and im better than u guys uwu and i deserve to have a life uwu unlike u guys uwu and im smarter than u cuz i know that 1+1=2 uwu and i am glam uwu i love myself uwu i am galaxy girl uwu i am infinity girl uwu
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Thanks, MathIsMagical!
It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.
Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.
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Simile is like an arrow, breaking the critic's heart.
Metaphor is a real arrow, a deadly arrow.
Personification will make the critic's pen run crazily.
Hyperbole is deadly. Don't use it.
Alliteration arrangements are absolutely awful.
xp8_4b23021eaz57840c4d2 My jokes
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