Math Is Fun Forum

Jai Ganesh

Administrator

Registered: 2005-06-28

Posts: 48,385

Clean jokes continue.....

(1) A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

(2) St. Peter was checking the gate beween Heaven and Hell and found a broken hinge. He walked over to the "Pit" and called to the Devil...The Devil says, "Yeah, whaddya want..?", St. Peter: "The hinge is broken and it's your turn to fix it.." . The Devil retorted: "Gee, I am a bit busy and don't have anyone available for this.." , St. Peter got angry, "Look, we have an agreement, and it's your turn to fix the gate..!" , The Devil responded, "Sorry Pete, it's our peak season and there just isn't anyone available..." St. Peter turned red and exclaimed..."Ok, if that's the way you want it, we'll sue..!" A big grin broke out on the Devil's face, "Oh yeah, and just where are you going to find a lawyer...?!"

(3) A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where the hell  have you been all night?" she demands.

"At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works - hell, even the urinal's gold!"

The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone  book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the  place to check her husband's story.

"Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.
"Yes it is," bartender answers.
"Do you have huge golden doors?"
"Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?"
"Most certainly do."
"What  about golden urinals?"
There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that urinated in your saxophone last night!

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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

Devantè

Real Member

Registered: 2006-07-14

Posts: 6,400

Re: Clean jokes continue.....

Those were very funny, especially the last one.

soha

Real Member

Registered: 2006-07-07

Posts: 2,530

Re: Clean jokes continue.....

i suppose the first one was wrritten in jokes section by me

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"Let us realize that: the privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is success!"
- David O. McKay

Devantè

Real Member

Registered: 2006-07-14

Posts: 6,400

Re: Clean jokes continue.....

True.

rida

Real Member

Registered: 2006-09-25

Posts: 839

Re: Clean jokes continue.....

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Dreams don't come true, you gotta make them come true.

jellyjumper

Member

Registered: 2006-12-05

Posts: 30

Re: Clean jokes continue.....

that was a good joke.

WiZaRd

Real Member

Registered: 2006-09-22

Posts: 570

Re: Clean jokes continue.....

Great Joke.

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Be Happy!