Math Is Fun Forum

Dross

Member

Registered: 2006-08-24

Posts: 325

Bad Jokes

Got any bad jokes?

A man walks into a bar - and it hurt.

Three men walk into a bar - you'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

Q: What do you call someone who used to collect farming equipment?
A: An ex-tractor fan!

A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre, so he gave her one.

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Bad speling makes me [sic]

power man

Member

Registered: 2006-12-26

Posts: 160

Re: Bad Jokes

Classics :lol

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I hate people who hate people.
most people make mistakes, butt not me!
why     is     it     when     you     are     writing     something     important     you     run     out       of        spa

Ricky

Moderator

Registered: 2005-12-04

Posts: 3,791

Re: Bad Jokes

Did you hear about the skeleton who couldn't go to the party?  He had no body to go with.

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"In the real world, this would be a problem.  But in mathematics, we can just define a place where this problem doesn't exist.  So we'll go ahead and do that now..."

soha

Real Member

Registered: 2006-07-07

Posts: 2,530

Re: Bad Jokes

why  is  the  title   bad  jokes

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"Let us realize that: the privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is success!"
- David O. McKay

Dross

Member

Registered: 2006-08-24

Posts: 325

Re: Bad Jokes

why  is  the  title   bad  jokes

Because the jokes are supposed to be cringe-worthy. Like the one about the blunt pencil, he... oh no, I won't tell you that one, there's really no point. And the one about the aeroplane would just go straight over your head.

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Bad speling makes me [sic]

Dross

Member

Registered: 2006-08-24

Posts: 325

Re: Bad Jokes

Sid the cat, along with a few of his feline chums, got into a fight late one evening - unfortunately this duel cost all the cats not only their tails, but also their lives!
Wandering as ghosts, they pick up their detached appendages and head to a bar for a stiff drink or two, and discuss how they might go about reataching their tails.
After the barman calls time, they think "ah, there's a practical man, we'll ask him if he can do it!"
Upon the ghost-cat's request, the barman replies with a stern "no".
"But why ever not?" ask the cats.
"I'm afraid, my dear moggies, that the licencing laws of this country prohibit me from re-tailing spirits after eleven O'Clock!"

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Bad speling makes me [sic]

rida

Real Member

Registered: 2006-09-25

Posts: 839

Re: Bad Jokes

How do you get straight A's
By using a ruler !

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Dreams don't come true, you gotta make them come true.

Toast

Real Member

Registered: 2006-10-08

Posts: 1,321

Re: Bad Jokes

What is the key to a good family christmas dinner?

(hehe... I got it from a commercial )

power man

Member

Registered: 2006-12-26

Posts: 160

Re: Bad Jokes

like it toast

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I hate people who hate people.
most people make mistakes, butt not me!
why     is     it     when     you     are     writing     something     important     you     run     out       of        spa

Xmegz4evaX

Member

Registered: 2007-02-07

Posts: 2

Re: Bad Jokes

Ha Ha Cool Jokes I Cant Think Of Any Lol !!!!

soha

Real Member

Registered: 2006-07-07

Posts: 2,530

Re: Bad Jokes

nice bad jokes

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"Let us realize that: the privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is success!"
- David O. McKay

Tigeree

Member

Registered: 2005-11-19

Posts: 13,883

Re: Bad Jokes

i love bad jokes

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People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

Tigeree

Member

Registered: 2005-11-19

Posts: 13,883

Re: Bad Jokes

What is the key to a good family christmas dinner?

(hehe... I got it from a commercial )

i've seen that too

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People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

Devantè

Real Member

Registered: 2006-07-14

Posts: 6,400

Re: Bad Jokes

The first one has many variations...

lightning

Real Member

Registered: 2007-02-26

Posts: 2,060

Re: Bad Jokes

what does that mean lol

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JaneFairfax

Member

Registered: 2007-02-23

Posts: 6,868

Re: Bad Jokes

I like this classic one:

A neutron walks into a bar and asks for a drink. “How much is it?” he asks. The bartender replies: “For you, no charge.”

And this one:

1st hydrogen atom: Help! I’ve lost my electron!
2nd hydrogen atom: No, you can’t be serious!
1st hydrogen atom: Oh yes! I’m positive!

mathsyperson

Moderator

Registered: 2005-06-22

Posts: 4,900

Re: Bad Jokes

If I wanted to be really pedantic, I could point out that if the hydrogen has lost an electron then it's not an atom. But I don't, so I'll just post a few jokes.

What do bees do when they don't want to drive?
They wait at the buzz stop.

Two parrots are sitting on a perch.
One says, "Do you smell fish?"

How do you kill a circus?
Go for the juggler.

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Why did the vector cross the road?
It wanted to be normal.

lightning

Real Member

Registered: 2007-02-26

Posts: 2,060

Re: Bad Jokes

i've heared that before, sorry

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Zappzter - New IM app! Unsure of which room to join? "ZNU" is made to help new users. c:

Dross

Member

Registered: 2006-08-24

Posts: 325

Re: Bad Jokes

Two cows are stood in a field.
"Do you think there'll be another mad cow disease epidemic anytime soon?" Says one of them.
The other replies, "I don't care, I'm a chicken."

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Bad speling makes me [sic]

lightning

Real Member

Registered: 2007-02-26

Posts: 2,060

Re: Bad Jokes

i don't get it if theres two cows how is one a chicken

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Zappzter - New IM app! Unsure of which room to join? "ZNU" is made to help new users. c:

Dross

Member

Registered: 2006-08-24

Posts: 325

Re: Bad Jokes

Because he's got mad cow disease, of course!

Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other how to drive it.

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Bad speling makes me [sic]

Ricky

Moderator

Registered: 2005-12-04

Posts: 3,791

Re: Bad Jokes

A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre, so he gave her one.

Apparently good jokes can go in here as well.  So here is one of my favorites:

How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Four.  One to screw in the light bulb.

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"In the real world, this would be a problem.  But in mathematics, we can just define a place where this problem doesn't exist.  So we'll go ahead and do that now..."

Mommas Girl

Member

Registered: 2007-01-31

Posts: 68

Re: Bad Jokes

Great Jokes can't think of any myself!!

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"You don't have to like me but you do need to respect me''

chatalot

Real Member

Registered: 2006-12-23

Posts: 125

Re: Bad Jokes

Why did the scientest install a knocker on his door

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For the world. For your country. For YOU.

chatalot

Real Member

Registered: 2006-12-23

Posts: 125

Re: Bad Jokes

How many crimanals does it take to install a light-bulb

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For the world. For your country. For YOU.