Math Is Fun Forum

JaneFairfax

Member

Registered: 2007-02-23

Posts: 6,868

British joke

World War Two. Close to the front line, three Allied generals talk about courage. One is Russian, the other is American and the third one is British.

The American general wants to show the others how courageous his men are. He calls a soldier and tells him: “Private, I want you to run across that mine field, jump over two enemy trenches, and come back in 10 minutes!”
“Sir, yes sir!”
The soldier does everything the general asked him and comes back on time. The American general says to the other two: “You see? That is what I call courage!”

The Russian general is eager to show the toughness of the Red Army. He calls a soldier and tells him: “Comrade, you must run across that mine field and jump over no fewer than four enemy trenches, while carrying a box of live grenades. And for the glory of Mother Russia, you must be back in 8 minutes!”
“Da, comrade general!”
This soldier also does everything the general asked him and comes back on time. The Russian general says to the other two: "You see, comrades? That is what I call courage!”

The British general raises an eyebrow and steps in slowly. He calls a soldier and tells him: “Hey, you there! Go and run across that mine field and jump over ten enemy trenches, while carrying a box of grenades in your arms, a timed C4 explosive on your back, and balancing a stick of dynamite on your nose. Oh, and be back in five minutes.”

The soldier replies: “Say what? Are you bloody mad, you stupid fool? I didn’t join the army to listen to braindead idiots like you! Go and do it yourself if you’re so darn clever!”

The British general looks triumphantly at the other two. “Now, gentlemen, this is what I call courage!”

Jai Ganesh

Administrator

Registered: 2005-06-28

Posts: 48,385

Re: British joke

Good one, JaneFairfax!

I have heard a slightly different version before!
Here's another Army joke!

An Officer visiting a canteen discovers that he has no change for a dollar. He asks a soldier sitting there
"Got change for a Dollar?"
"Sure, buddy" replies the soldier and reaches for his pocket.
"Thats no way to talk to an Officer" replies the Officer. "We shall do it again. Got change for a Dollar?"
"No, Sir, I don't" replies the soldier.

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It appears to me that if one wants to make progress in mathematics, one should study the masters and not the pupils. - Niels Henrik Abel.

Nothing is better than reading and gaining more and more knowledge - Stephen William Hawking.

MathsIsFun

Administrator

Registered: 2005-01-21

Posts: 7,713

Re: British joke

Both Great!

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"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

NullRoot

Member

Registered: 2007-11-19

Posts: 162

Re: British joke

Here's one by brother in law likes to tell me.

An American officer and a British infantryman walk into a restroom and up to the urinals (different ones, of course!)
When they're done, the American dutifully walks over to the sinks to wash his hands. The infantryman just starts walking out the exit.
"Hey!" calls the officer after him, "Didn't they teach you how to use a sink in Britain?"
"Nope," the infantryman replies, "they taught us not to pee on our hands."

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Trillian: Five to one against and falling. Four to one against and falling… Three to one, two, one. Probability factor of one to one. We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem.

power man

Member

Registered: 2006-12-26

Posts: 160

Re: British joke

neither i

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coconut

Member

Registered: 2008-03-02

Posts: 9

Re: British joke

well the sink is like people peeing on their hands,   right?              ewwww

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AshJones555

Member

Registered: 2006-05-15

Posts: 19

Re: British joke

I'm guessing that the British guy was implying that he had no particular need to wash his hands whilst assuming that the American had to wash the pee off his hands after accidently peeing on them??

JohnnyReinB

Member

Registered: 2007-10-08

Posts: 453

Re: British joke

Yep, that's what I assume it to mean. This just goes to show that even military jokes can show the difference of human races!

P.S. Racial groups are very misleading. Studies show that DNA differences can be more significant between members of the same group than members of different groups!

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"There is not a difference between an in-law and an outlaw, except maybe that an outlaw is wanted"

Nisi Quam Primum, Nequequam

lightning

Real Member

Registered: 2007-02-26

Posts: 2,060

Re: British joke

loved it!!!!!! lol

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U7109

Real Member

Registered: 2007-03-19

Posts: 485

Re: British joke

Funny jokes!

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"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination," ~ John Lennon