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## #1 Re: Jokes » Q & A » Today 11:42:49

Q: What does a cat like to eat with birthday cake?
A: Mice cream!
* * *
Q: Did you hear about oxygen's second date with potassium?
A: It was OK2!
* * *
Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?
A: Neigh buzz!
* * *
Q: What does my dog do when he goes to bed?
A: He reads a bite-time story.
* * *
Q: What do dogs do when watching a DVD?
A: They press paws.
* * *
Q: Why can’t dogs drive?
A: They can’t find a barking space.
* * *
Q: Why did the burglar rob a bakery?
A: He needed the dough.
* * *
Q: What vitamin helps you to see?
A: Vitamin C.
* * *
Q: Why did the ice cream cone take karate lessons?
A: It was tired of getting licked.
* * *
Q: How do you make fire with two sticks?
A: Make sure one is a match.
* * *
Q: What do rabbits do when they get married?
A: They go on a bunnymoon.
* * *
Q: In what school do you learn how to greet people?
A: Hi school.
* * *

## #2 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » Oral puzzles » Today 00:52:29

Hi,

.

#3930. 12 defective are accidentally mixed with 132 good ones. It is not possible to just look at the pen and tell whether or not it is defective. One pen is taken out at random from this lot. Determine the probability of the pen taken out is good one.

## #3 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » 10 second questions » Today 00:37:14

Hi,

#6400. Determine whether the given values are solutions of the given equation or not.

## #4 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » Doc, Doc! » Today 00:32:04

Hi,

#1139. Name the disease : Formerly called manic depression, it is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression). When you become depressed, you may feel sad or hopeless and lose interest or pleasure in most activities. When your mood shifts to mania or hypomania (less extreme than mania), you may feel euphoric, full of energy or unusually irritable. These mood swings can affect sleep, energy, activity, judgment, behavior and the ability to think clearly.

## #5 Re: Dark Discussions at Cafe Infinity » crème de la crème » Today 00:18:13

282) Hergé

Hergé, pen name of Georgés Remi, (born May 22, 1907, Etterbeek, near Brussels, Belg.—died March 3, 1983, Brussels), Belgian cartoonist who created the comic strip hero Tintin, a teenage journalist. Over the next 50 years, Tintin’s adventures filled 23 albums and sold 70 million copies in some 30 languages. Throughout the years the young reporter remained recognizably the same, with his signature blond quiff and his plus fours.

Hergé, whose pen name derived from the pronunciation of his transposed initials, published his first comic strip—Totor, de la Patrouille des Hannetons (“Totor of the June Bug Patrol”), for Le Boy-Scout Belge (“The Belgian Boy Scout”)—at age 19. In 1929 he created Tintin for the children’s supplement (a weekly feature called Le Petit Ventième) of the daily newspaper Le Vingtième Siècle. Tintin’s first adventure was later published as the album Tintin in the Land of the Soviets, but it was not until 1958 that The Black Island became the first Tintin album in English translation. It was followed, with growing success, by other albums taking Tintin and his friends on adventures in many different countries (though Hergé himself traveled little, preferring to live quietly in Brussels). The stories, which appealed to children because of their gentle humour and eventful plots, were never violent; the villains might be menacing and the plots filled with action, but in almost every case heroes and villains emerged largely unscathed. The drawings, especially in the later albums, lovingly portray the details of Tintin’s world, though they clearly reflect the attitudes of the era.

A museum dedicated to the work of Hergé, designed by French architect Christian de Portzamparc, opened in Louvain-la-Neuve, Belg., in June 2009.

## #6 Re: Jokes » One Liners » Yesterday 14:52:00

The sun is going to go out in 4 billion years, and you sit there and act like everything is fine.
* * *
Remember: You can eat your way out of almost any problem.
* * *
The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly.
* * *
I'm not being rude, you're just insignificant.
* * *
I don't care how funny you are, if I don't like you, I won't laugh.
* * *
Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.
* * *
People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
* * *
Men of quality respect women's equality.
* * *
Thank goodness! Testimony from your parrot is not admissible in court.
* * *
I just want to live in a world where people come with on/off switches.
* * *
At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
* * *
You know, it's not the length of the vector that counts... it's how you apply the force.
* * *
"I ran a half marathon" sounds so much better than "I quit halfway through a marathon".
* * *
The hardest part of any relationship is when it's not your turn to talk.
* * *
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
* * *
Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
* * *
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
* * *
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
* * *

## #7 Re: Jokes » Q & A » Yesterday 01:54:34

Q: Where do eggplants come from?
A: Chicken plants.
* * *
Q: Can a match box?
A: No, but a tin can.
* * *
Q: What do you call a girl who's just come back from the beach?
A: Sandy.
* * *
Q: What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?
A: "Someday my prints will come."
* * *
Q: How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
A: You rocket.
* * *
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: "A miner be flat" (A minor B-flat).
* * *
Q: Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?
A: Cause he was outstanding in his field.
* * *
Q: What do you do with epileptic lettuce?
A: You make a seizure salad.
* * *
Q: What do you call a wandering caveman?
A: A meanderthal.
* * *
Q: What was Ludwig van Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A: Ba-na-na-na!
* * *
Q: What did the buffalo say to her child as he left for school?
A: "Bison!" (bye son).
* * *
Q: When are holes beautiful?
A: When they're gorges.
* * *

## #8 Re: Jokes » Very short jokes! » Yesterday 01:35:21

Little Johnny is making faces at school. The teacher catches him at it and says, “You know when I was little and made faces, my dad told me a secret.
And that is that when you keep making faces, your face finally can’t go back and you end up really ugly.”
Little Johnny quiets and says, “Well, at least you were warned…”
* * *
What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer?
They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.
* * *
A man was walking down the street and saw a sign in a store window that said "Help Wanted," so the man ran in the store and yelled out, "What's wrong?!"
* * *
Q: What do you do with a sick boat?
A: Take it to the doc.
* * *
Jim, Scott and Alex are tired after traveling all day and check into a hotel. When they get to reception, they find out they'll have to walk 75 flights of stairs to get to their room because the elevator is out of order. Jim suggests that they do something interesting to pass time while they walk the 75 flights. Jim will tell jokes, Scott will sing songs, and Alex will tell sad stories. So Jim tells jokes for 25 flights, Scott sings songs for 25 flights and Alex tells sad stories for 24 flights. When they reach the 75th floor, Alex tells his saddest story of all, "Guys, I left our room key at reception."
* * *
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on.The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."
* * *
Being an astronaut is funny. It's the only job where you get fired before you start work.
* * *
A disciple went to his master and said, "I have served you faithfully for ten years. Now I have a wish: give me something to eat which will never end." His master said, "Here, have some chewing gum."
* * *
A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.
* * *
Lady: "Is this my train?"
Station Master: "No, it belongs to the railway company."
Lady: "Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New York."
Station Master: "No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy."
* * *

## #9 Re: Jokes » Very short jokes! » 2018-02-20 23:37:51

Marriage is an institution of three rings. Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
* * *
Teacher asks Little Johnny, “Johnny, how old is your father?”
“He’s as old as me,” Johnny informs her.
“Now how would that be possible?” inquires the surprised teacher.
“Well – he became father the day I was born.”
* * *
During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word ‘COINCIDENCE’?”
Little Johnny volunteers, "Sir, my mum and dad were married on the same day."
* * *
A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me \$500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "OK, then write him a letter asking him for the \$5,000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only \$500," replied the man. "Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!"
* * *
A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."
* * *
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said, "Sir, you are hereby fined \$100." The lawyer stood up and said, "Thanks, your honor, however my client only has \$75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd..."
* * *

## #10 Re: Jokes » One Liners » 2018-02-20 16:44:28

Every organisation is perfectly designed to get the results they are getting.
* * *
Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
* * *
Morning is the time when everyone is jealous of unemployed.
* * *
I had amnesia once - maybe twice.
* * *
The light at the end of the tunnel – are the front lights of a train.
* * *
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
* * *
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
* * *
Friends are forever. Until they get in a relationship.
* * *
Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
* * *
There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it's hot.
* * *
It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it.
* * *
You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
* * *
If I've learned anything in life, it's that not enough people are at a loss for words.
* * *
What did the beach say as the tide came in? Long time no sea.
* * *
Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.
* * *

## #11 Re: This is Cool » Miscellany » 2018-02-20 15:27:30

72) Four Different Types Of Teeth & Their Function

Four Different Types Of Teeth & Their Function

Teeth are perhaps the most important element found in our mouth. It plays a major role in our ability to eat as well as presentation and various other bodily tasks. In fact, if we say that healthy teeth are vital to oral health, it would not be a false statement to make. As the holder of this great gift of nature, Dr. Shervin Louie, the renowned dentist of Los Angeles, says that everyone should know and understand the what are the types of teeth human’s evolve throughout the age, their functionality, and how to take care of them. This knowledge is essential to every person who takes a keen interest in maintaining their oral health. So, let us look at the four types of main teeth and how important their functionality is to us.

Four Main Types Of Teeth

Humans have two sets of teeth from which we develop four different types of teeth throughout our life span. These two sets of teeth are:

Primary
Permanent

Primary teeth set contains the infant or baby teeth. These teeth do not change their form until the time we grow to a more mature age in the early teens. Starting from early teens, the first of the permanent teeth starts to appear in our mouth. Once we start to develop permanent teeth, the four different types of them start to evolve as we age through the life. “These four types of teeth are about to play a major role in your life,” states Dr. Shervin Louie, a dentist in Los Angeles. Let’s learn about them now.

Incisors:

Incisors are the pair of eight teeth directly situated in the front and center of our mouth. The format includes four on top and four on the bottom. These teeth are immensely important since we use them to take the first bite of food or anything that you break with them (latter is a dangerous activity though). These teeth come in the first 6-months and then develop in a lifelong formidable shape between the ages of 6 – 8 years. Regular brushing keeps these teeth healthier and strong as well as good calcium diet.

Canines:

There are four canine teeth in our mouth and these are the sharpest of all. These teeth first appear between 11 and 20 months of age and take their lifelong formidable shape between 11 to 12 years. These teeth should stay in healthy form because they are used to tear and wear your food and plays an important part in a proper digestion process.

Like the Incisors, two are located above and two below. These teeth along with Incisors play a vital role in digestion and presentation in the form of our smile. So bad habits like smoking and chewing betel nuts severely damages them and you may end up going to a dentist in Los Angeles for a treatment. Therefore, brush daily, do flossing between the gaps of these teeth, and avoid bad habits to escape severe disease or damage.

Premolars:

Premolar teeth are situated at each side of your mouth in deep settings. These teeth are used for chewing and grinding food so that it becomes totally in a semi-liquid form helping food particles to gulp down the throat and digest smoothly. These teeth first premolar in the upper jaw appears at the age of 10 while the second in the bottom appears at 11.

Since these teeth are situated deep into the mouth and rarely gets exposure to the outside air, Dr. Shervin Louie, the renowned dentist in Los Angeles, recommends a thorough brushing and the use of mouth rinsing agents in order to protect them from bacterial attack. Also, these teeth have the most higher chances of developing plaque, tarter, and germs because of their remote location so the methods mentioned above will give them good protection.

Molars:

The final type of our teeth are the molars, a formidable replacement of permanent premolar ones. In the premolar form, there were only two teeth above and two below. However, when molars appear at the age 11 – 13 years, they add two more teeth to their pair – four above and four below –.

These molars will remain in their current form your entire life, given that you keep a good care of your dental health. As described above, molars are more prone to germ attacks and other deficiencies because of their remote location in your mouth so follow the methods of cleaning described by Dr. Shervin Louie in the paragraph above for premolars.

So, these are the major four types of teeth humans grow throughout their lifespan and their precious functionality which gives them an edge in our bodily system. As a great tip, apart from the daily care, you take off your dental health at home, it is recommended that you should at least visit twice a dentist in the 6-months period for a thorough checkup of your oral health.

## #12 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » 10 second questions » 2018-02-20 15:15:02

Hi,

#6399. Determine whether the given values are solutions of the given equation or not.

.

## #13 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » Oral puzzles » 2018-02-20 15:05:01

Hi,

.

#3929. A bag contains 8 red, 6 white, and 4 black balls. A ball is drawn at random from the bag. Find the probability of the drawn ball being neither white nor black.

## #14 Re: Dark Discussions at Cafe Infinity » crème de la crème » 2018-02-20 01:15:00

281) Carlton Cole

Carlton Cole "Carl" Magee (January 1872 – February 1946) was an American lawyer and publisher. He also patented the first parking meter which was installed for use. He was born in Iowa. Magee graduated from Upper Iowa University in 1896.

Magee at desk

Magee founded the Magee's Independent in 1922, which would change its name to the New Mexico State Tribune in 1923 and to the Albuquerque Tribune in 1933. The Tribune became defunct in 2008. Magee was important in bringing the Teapot Dome Scandal to the fore. When a judge Magee had once accused of corruption knocked him down in a hotel lobby, Magee drew his pistol and fired, accidentally killing a bystander. Magee was acquitted of manslaughter, but moved to Oklahoma City to run the Oklahoma News. He was the paper's editor until he was transferred to the Oklahoma City News. Park-O-Meter is a parking meter production company headquartered in Russellville (Pope County). The predecessor company to the current Park-O-Meter, Inc. (or POM) was co-founded by Carl Magee, designer of the world’s first parking meter.

Carl Magee was an attorney and newspaper editor who joined the Oklahoma City Chamber of Commerce traffic committee in 1933 and, shortly thereafter, was charged with lessening the escalating traffic congestion in the city’s downtown. Local merchants complained that their sales were hurt by low traffic turnover, since parking spaces adjacent to downtown businesses were occupied by the same cars all day. Magee conceived the idea of a coin-operated timer that could be used to increase traffic turnover in busy commercial thoroughfares, and he sponsored a contest at the University of Oklahoma to develop such a device. After the contest, Magee designed and patented his own model and sought Professors H. G. Thuesen and Gerald Hale from Oklahoma Agricultural and Mechanical College (now Oklahoma State University) to help him develop his model into an operating meter. The first model eventually created was powered by a clock-type mainspring, which required subsequent winding; this was accomplished by parking patrons after feeding coins into the meter. Magee later partnered with Gerald Hale to form the Magee-Hale Park-O-Meter Company, predecessor to the modern POM, Inc.

The first parking meters were installed in downtown Oklahoma City on July 16, 1935, and charged five cents per hour. Businesses benefited greatly from the decreased parking congestion, but some outraged citizens complained and even initiated legal action in response to installation of the meters. Legal action failed to halt implementation of the meters, however, and the added benefits of revenue generation quickly led other cities to install parking meters of their own.

The earliest Magee-Hale meters were manufactured in Oklahoma City and Tulsa, Oklahoma, by Rockwell International, which moved its meter production to Russellville in 1963. POM, Inc., as constituted today was organized in 1976 to purchase the parking meter production operations from Rockwell, as well as its Russellville plant.

New ownership and production facility expansion occurred at POM in the 1980s, and POM unveiled its patented “Advanced Parking Meter” (APM) in 1992, featuring a choice of battery or solar power, among other improvements. According to its website, the company today “has the largest plant in the world devoted to the manufacturing of digital parking meters.”

Magee switched from Republican to Democrat and ran unsuccessfully for the United States Senate.

He is best known in journalism today for the E.W. Scripps Company motto, adopted from Dante for the Albuquerque Tribune and which is now carried by all Scripps chain newspapers: “Give Light and the People Will Find Their Own Way.”

Magee died in Tulsa, Oklahoma in February 1946.

## #15 Re: Jokes » Q & A » 2018-02-20 00:51:55

Q: Which is the loudest state in the U.S.A.?
A: ILLI NOISE.
* * *
Q: What did the little boat say to the yacht?
A: Can I interest you in a little row-mance?
* * *
Q: Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
A: Sherlock Bones!
* * *
Q: What’s the name of a six-sided polygon?
A: Sixagon.
* * *
Q: What is an acid with a serious attitude problem?
A: A-mean-oh-acid!
* * *
Q: How come Iron Man is a woman?
A: Because Fe-Male.
* * *
Q: What is a cat’s favorite car?
A: “A Catillac”!
* * *
Q: If TVs run on electricity and trucks run on gas, what do cats run on?
A: Their four paws.
* * *
Q: What do you call a cat who gets her way no matter what?
A: Purrsuasive.
* * *
Q: Have you heard about the cat who climbed the Himalayas?
A: She was a renowned sher-paw.
* * *

## #16 Re: Jokes » Very short jokes! » 2018-02-19 23:32:46

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
* * *
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A Maybe!
* * *
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
* * *
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
* * *
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did..
* * *
A teacher is talking to a student.
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
* * *
Q: How do you count cows?
A: With a cowculator.
* * *
Teacher: "Name a bird with wings but can't fly."
Student: "A dead bird, sir."
* * *
Q: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
* * *
Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website!
* * *
Waiter: "Do you want any dessert?"
Teddy Bear: "No Thanks. I'm Stuffed!"
* * *
A farmer and his brand new bride are riding home in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbles.
The farmer says, "That's once."
A little further along, the horse stumbles again.
The farmer says, "That's twice."
When the old horse stumbles again, the farmer quietly reaches under his seat, pulls out a shotgun, and shoots the horse.
His brand new bride yells, "That was an awful thing to do!"
The farmer says, "That's once."
* * *
A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?"
The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?"
The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."
* * *
Q: Why are fish easy to weigh?
A: Because they have their own scales.
* * *
Q: Where do sharks go on their holidays?
A: Finland.
* * *

## #17 Re: Jokes » One Liners » 2018-02-19 15:45:42

I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice.
* * *
How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.
* * *
The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
* * *
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
* * *
He: So then, what's your sign? She: Dollar.
* * *
3 men are stranded in a boat with 4 cigarettes and no way to light them. So they toss the 4th cigarette overboard, which makes the whole boat a cigarette lighter.
* * *
What fruit do you eat when you are sad? Blueberries.
* * *
Parenting is easy once you learn the secret. For the love of god, please tell me the secret.
* * *
I get plenty of exercise - jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
* * *
Five days of the week, my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park!
* * *
What part of your family can you see through? A transparent.
* * *
I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle.
* * *
Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us? Why do we have to do all the work?
* * *
I like the way your medication thinks.
* * *

## #18 Re: Jokes » Very short jokes! » 2018-02-19 01:27:54

Son: "Is this insecticide good for mosquito?"
Dad: "Not at all, it kills them!"
* * *
Daughter to her dad: "What is it?"
Dad: “It” is a pronoun.
* * *
A guy is stopped on the road by traffic police. The police officer asks him to open his trunk – and sees 2 penguins sitting inside. The officer is shocked and says to the guy, “Sir, you’ve got to takes those two to the Zoo right away!” The guy agrees and leaves.
The next day – same place, same police officer – he is stopped again. The officer again asks him to open his trunk, and to his confusion, there are the two penguins sitting again, today with swimming hats on their heads. The officer says, “I told you yesterday that you have to take them to the Zoo, didn’t I?!”
“And I did take them to the Zoo, just like you said. And today we’re going swimming.”
* * *
Q: What can you serve but should never eat?
A: A tennis ball.
* * *
Father: And, how do you like going to school?
Son: Well, the going bit is OK, the coming home bit is fine too, but the time in between kind of ruins it!
* * *
80 chimneys plus 5 chimneys plus 8 chimneys.
What is the result?
Lots of smoke.
* * *
Teacher: "You got a zero in the last exam."
Roger: "I don’t think I deserve a zero!"
Teacher: "Neither do I. But I can’t go any lower than that."
* * *
Little Kenny is about to have a big test and his father says: “You better study real good boy, ‘cause if you don’t pass that test, you can forget that you’re my son!”
The next day Kenny comes home and his dad asks him how he did in the test.
Kenny looks at him and says, “And who are you, dude?”
* * *

## #19 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » Oral puzzles » 2018-02-19 00:20:51

Hi,

.

#3928. A bag contains 8 red, 6 white, and 4 black balls. A ball is drawn at random from the bag. Find the probability of the drawn ball being
(a) red or white
(b) not black.

## #20 Re: Ganesh's Puzzles » 10 second questions » 2018-02-19 00:09:34

Hi,

.

#6398. Sum of the areas of two squares is 468 square meters.If the difference of their perimeters is 24 meters, formulate the quadratic equation to find the sides of the two squares.

## #21 Re: Jokes » Very short jokes! » 2018-02-19 00:01:43

Patient to his doctor: I have forgotten so many things lately, and it’s getting worse. What can I do?
Doctor: Yes, this is a known illness, unfortunately it has no cure. I’d also like to remind you about the 800 USD that you owe me?
* * *
Two mice meet and start chatting. “Look,” says one after a while, “I’ve got a new boyfriend!” and shows a picture on the mobile phone.
“OMG,” cries the other mouse, “that’s a bat!”
“What?! The guy told me he was a pilot!”
* * *
I’ve read so many horrible things about drinking and smoking recently that I made a new, firm New Year’s resolution: NO MORE READING!
* * *
I was going to start a Procrastinators Club. But then I realized I’d have to reject anyone who actually turned up at the meeting so I decided to put it off again.
* * *
They say you can’t get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!
* * *
Why did the bee marry?
He’s finally found his honey.
* * *
“Name me five different animals, Johnny.”
“The dog, the dog’s brother, the dog’s sister, the dog’s cousin and the dog’s aunt.”
* * *
It is evening. Little Johnny and his friend are sitting by a camp fire.
They’ve been plagued by swarms of mosquitoes already for an hour and the assault only worsens when the darkness sets in.
Suddenly, fireflies appear. Little Johnny says: “These mosquitoes! Now they’ve even brought lanterns with them to find us!“
* * *
Three bunnies want to jump a wall. First one jumps and clears the wall with a good 4 inch reserve.
The second bunny jumps and makes it over the wall with a 5 inch reserve.
The third bunny jumps and slams headfirst into the wall. When he wakes up, he says, “I must have jumped the highest. I definitely saw some stars.”
* * *
A gardener picks up horse droppings off the road. This interests a passerby: “What do you do with the droppings?”
Gardener: “I sprinkle it on my strawberries.”
Passerby: “Funny, we usually use sugar…”
* * *
A farmer needs to know how many sheep he has in his field. He calls his German Shepherd dog to count them for him. The dog runs off, counts the sheep and returns to the farmer.
"How many?" asks the farmer. "40," replies the dog. The farmer is startled and says, "What do you mean, 40 - I only bought 37!" The dog shrugs, "I rounded them up."
* * *
Child: “Mom, I have a good and a bad news.”
Mother: “OK, start with the good one.”
Child: “I scored an A in the math test.”
Mother: “That’s awesome Lisa! And what’s the bad news?”
Child: “That this was only a joke.”
* * *
A little boy stands in front of a house and cries. A guy sees him and asks, “Why all the crying, little guy?”
“I can’t reach the doorbell.”
The man rings the bell for him and smiles at the boy. The boy smiles back at him and says, “Great, and now we just have to run away very quickly!”
* * *

## #22 Re: This is Cool » Miscellany » 2018-02-18 22:18:38

71) Einstein's riddle:

The situation

a) There are 5 houses in five different colors.
b) In each house lives a person with a different nationality.
c) These five owners drink a certain type of beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar and keep a certain pet.
d) No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar or drink the same beverage.

The question is: Who owns the fish?

Hints

i) the Brit lives in the red house
ii) the Swede keeps dogs as pets
iii) the Dane drinks tea
iv) the green house is on the left of the white house
v) the green house's owner drinks coffee
vi) the person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds
vii) the owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill
viii) the man living in the center house drinks milk
ix) the Norwegian lives in the first house
x) the man who smokes blends lives next to the one who keeps cats
xi) the man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill
xii) the owner who smokes BlueMaster drinks beer
xiii) the German smokes Prince
xiv) the Norwegian lives next to the blue house
xv) the man who smokes blend has a neighbor who drinks water

Einstein wrote this riddle last century. He said that 98% of the world could not solve it.

## #23 Re: Jokes » One Liners » 2018-02-18 15:33:37

Monox D. I-Fly wrote:
ganesh wrote:

Young riders pick a destination and go... Old riders pick a direction and go.
* * *

So basically, mathematicians are young riders.

In my opinion, Yes!

*******
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE!
* * *
What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts.
* * *
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
* * *
Nobody is interested in your sorrow, unless you can make a joke or a poem out of it.
* * *
Why don't you do arithmetic in the jungle? Because if you add 4 + 4 you get ate!
* * *
Our conscience is clear- we don't use it.
* * *
If we get rid of all the margarine the world will be a butter place.
* * *
I'm attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.
* * *
Why is a doctor always calm? Because it has a lot of patients.
* * *
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
* * *
I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.
* * *
I applied for a job today and they ask for three references. I wrote, "a dictionary, a Thesaurus, and a map."
* * *
For those who never forget a face, you are an exception.
* * *
Should I have another baby after 35? No, 35 children are enough.
* * *

## #24 Re: Dark Discussions at Cafe Infinity » crème de la crème » 2018-02-18 00:21:21

280) Elihu Thomson

Elihu Thomson (March 29, 1853 – March 13, 1937) was an English-born American engineer and inventor who was instrumental in the founding of major electrical companies in the United States, the United Kingdom and France.

Early life

He was born in Manchester (England) on March 29, 1853, but his family moved to Philadelphia (United States) in 1858. Thomson attended Central High School in Philadelphia and graduated in 1870. Thomson took a teaching position at Central, and in 1876, at the age of twenty-three, held the Chair of Chemistry. In 1880, he left Central to pursue research in the emerging field of electrical engineering.

Electrical innovations

With Edwin J. Houston, a former teacher and later colleague of Thomson's at Central High School, Thomson founded the Thomson-Houston Electric Company. Notable inventions created by Thomson during this period include an arc-lighting system, an automatically regulated three-coil dynamo, a magnetic lightning arrester, and a local power transformer. In 1892 the Thomson-Houston Electric Company merged with the Edison General Electric Company to become the General Electric Company.

The historian Thomas P. Hughes writes that Thomson "displayed methodological characteristics in the workshop and the laboratory as [an] inventor and in the business world as [an] entrepreneur. He also chose to solve problems in the rapidly expanding field of electric light and power." Thomson's name is further commemorated by the British Thomson-Houston Company (BTH), and the French companies Thomson and Alstom.

Thomson was notable both for his emphasis on models and for the singular focus with which he pursued his research, with Thomson referring to his workshop as a "model room" rather than a laboratory. Between 1880 and 1885, Thomson averaged twenty-one patent applications annually, doubling that average between 1885 and 1890.

Upon the merger of Thomson-Houston Electric Company (his namesake company) to form General Electric in 1892, Thomson chose to keep his laboratory at Lynn, Massachusetts near Boston away from GE's New York headquarters to ensure his control over his research. At the Lynn GE plant, he worked with Edwin Rice (later President of GE in 1913) and Sanford Moss (developer of the turbocharger) and Charles Steinmetz (who was located at GE headquarters in Schenectady, New York). After being asked to become a director of GE, Thomson rejected the offer preferring continued research to management.

Honors

Thomson was the first recipient of the American Institute of Electrical Engineers AIEE (now Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE)) Edison Medal, bestowed upon him in 1909 "For meritorious achievement in electrical science, engineering and arts as exemplified in his contributions thereto during the past thirty years."; Thomson was also president of the organization from 1889-90. Near the end of his life, Thomson's second wife Clarissa Hovey Thomson is reported to have said that she had to carry a basket with her to carry all of Thomson's awards and honors.

In 1889 he was decorated by the French Government for his electrical inventions, being made Chevalier et Officier de la Légion d'honneur. He received the honorary degree of A.M. from Yale (1890). Tufts College in 1892 gave him the degree of Ph.D., and in 1899 he received a D.Sc. from Harvard.

Later life

He was a founding member, as well as the second president, of the International Electrotechnical Commission.

He served as acting president of MIT from 1920-1923. Thomson, overcoming his distaste for management, accepted this role during a critical period for the university when it could not otherwise find a president.

Thomson died at his estate in Swampscott, Massachusetts. The Elihu Thomson House in Swampscott was designated a U.S. National Historic Landmark in 1976 and serves as Swampscott's town hall.

Patents

Thomson held more than 700 patents. Thomson used his patents to bolster his company, Thomson-Houston Company, later General Electric.

## #25 Re: This is Cool » Miscellany » 2018-02-17 18:34:43

70) The Land of Midnight Sun

The day that never ends

Like a prolonged sunset and sunrise all at once, the midnight sun colours heaven and earth in a reddish yellow light.

It’s tempting to wonder about all the sights and experiences that have been made under the midnight sun through the ages – by people living off the sea at the Lofoten and Vesterålen archipelagos, or the Sami reindeer herders of the far north.

The phenomena has at least made a lasting impression on several Norwegian artists and writers. This excerpt is from Knut Hamsuns Pan (1894): “Night was coming on again; the sun just dipped into the sea and rose again, red, refreshed, as if it had been down to drink. I could feel more strangely on those nights than anyone would believe” ...

The earth is rotating at a tilted axis relative to the sun, and during the summer months the North Pole is angled towards our star. That’s why, for several weeks, the sun never sets above the Arctic Circle.

Going there, you can live these moments yourself: Doing a whale safari, or exploring the wilderness inland, takes on a new dimension at night in the summer months, when you literally get to see the nature and wildlife in a different light.

If you’re not afraid of the sometimes chilly summer nights in the north, you could try a midnight swim – or you can pitch your tent in the wild and stay up while the sun doesn’t go down. Many sights and activities are open at night during these weeks, so you can do midnight golfing, cycling, river paddling or sea kayaking, or maybe just find a quiet spot to fish.

If you travel to the arctic islands of Svalbard, the sun doesn’t set between April and late August. Here you can do a midnight walk on a glacier or look at the reddish sky from a moving dogsled, experiencing the unique climate and nature near the North Pole.