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#251 2012-05-19 17:15:10

bobbym
Administrator
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 82,980

Re: Random jokes I come across

Bad guys are obnoxious.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.

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#252 2012-05-19 17:35:01

Tigeree
Member
Registered: 2005-11-19
Posts: 13,847

Re: Random jokes I come across

Yeah. Isn't it great?
But if there were no bad guys in the cartoons, there would be no one to beat. That's a little pointless.


People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
~ Anton Chekhov
Cheer up, emo kid.

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#253 2012-05-19 20:46:19

bobbym
Administrator
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 82,980

Re: Random jokes I come across

Why must there be someone to beat?


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.

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#254 2012-07-22 04:06:59

Sylvia104
Member
Registered: 2011-09-19
Posts: 26

Re: Random jokes I come across

A scientist was carrying out an experiment on electricity. Suddenly his apparatus blew up. When he realized what had gone wrong, he was horrified at what he had accidentally done. He couldn't believe he had just touched the anode of his electrolytic cell.

He was positively shocked. lol

Last edited by Sylvia104 (2012-07-22 04:13:22)

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#255 2012-07-27 02:18:35

noelevans
Member
Registered: 2012-07-20
Posts: 236

Re: Random jokes I come across

Mathematicians have their own diet plan:  binomial ........ trinomial  shame

And if your name is Polly then ...dizzy


Writing "pretty" math (two dimensional) is easier to read and grasp than LaTex (one dimensional).
LaTex is like painting on many strips of paper and then stacking them to see what picture they make.

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#256 2012-08-17 02:36:41

Agnishom
Real Member
From: The Complex Plane
Registered: 2011-01-29
Posts: 15,201
Website

Re: Random jokes I come across

Some random Mathematical Jokes

Last edited by Agnishom (2012-08-17 02:41:03)


'And fun? If maths is fun, then getting a tooth extraction is fun. A viral infection is fun. Rabies shots are fun.'
'God exists because Mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it'
'Humanity is still kept intact. It remains within.' -Alokananda

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#257 2012-08-17 06:18:49

bobbym
Administrator
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 82,980

Re: Random jokes I come across

Hi Agnishom;

The Everyday Math one is really good.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.

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#258 2012-08-17 14:18:32

Agnishom
Real Member
From: The Complex Plane
Registered: 2011-01-29
Posts: 15,201
Website

Re: Random jokes I come across

To be honest,
                  I dont understand that one at all.
My friends blame me for not understanding Jokes


'And fun? If maths is fun, then getting a tooth extraction is fun. A viral infection is fun. Rabies shots are fun.'
'God exists because Mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it'
'Humanity is still kept intact. It remains within.' -Alokananda

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#259 2012-08-17 18:55:07

bobbym
Administrator
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 82,980

Re: Random jokes I come across

Hi Agnishom;

You have a fine sense of humor though. You remind me of my mother, she would have said that too.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.

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#260 2012-08-21 11:01:12

noelevans
Member
Registered: 2012-07-20
Posts: 236

Re: Random jokes I come across

Hi all!

Jerry was atop a two-story building with a really large pot perched on the edge of the roof.  There was
a ramp from the pot to the ground (a very steep ramp: slope > 10).  Tom was setting on the ground
at the end of the ramp.  Jerry pushed the pot off onto the ramp.  Poor Tom!  That was a real "High
Pot in Use!"

dizzy is Tom 
roflol is Jerry


Writing "pretty" math (two dimensional) is easier to read and grasp than LaTex (one dimensional).
LaTex is like painting on many strips of paper and then stacking them to see what picture they make.

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#261 2012-10-16 12:58:57

noelevans
Member
Registered: 2012-07-20
Posts: 236

Re: Random jokes I come across

A man rode with his friends each day passing through a long tunnel.  Each time they exited the tunnel
he found himself dizzy and disoriented.  So he wen to the doctor and had numerous (and quite expensive I imagine) tests run.  A few days later he went to see the doctor to find out the results.  The doctor paused, rubbing his chin, and then delivered his analysis.  "You've obviously have a bad case of "carpool tunnel syndrome." smile


Writing "pretty" math (two dimensional) is easier to read and grasp than LaTex (one dimensional).
LaTex is like painting on many strips of paper and then stacking them to see what picture they make.

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#262 2012-10-20 15:38:07

noelevans
Member
Registered: 2012-07-20
Posts: 236

Re: Random jokes I come across

The coroner had a particularly difficult time determining the cause for the sudden death of the hog
caller.  After running a multitude of tests and cogitating considerably he finally concluded that it was
soooooooooooooeeeecide!


Writing "pretty" math (two dimensional) is easier to read and grasp than LaTex (one dimensional).
LaTex is like painting on many strips of paper and then stacking them to see what picture they make.

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#263 2012-12-20 01:04:40

Agnishom
Real Member
From: The Complex Plane
Registered: 2011-01-29
Posts: 15,201
Website

Re: Random jokes I come across

^^^Why are you putting such links?


'And fun? If maths is fun, then getting a tooth extraction is fun. A viral infection is fun. Rabies shots are fun.'
'God exists because Mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it'
'Humanity is still kept intact. It remains within.' -Alokananda

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#264 2012-12-20 01:15:23

bobbym
Administrator
From: Bumpkinland
Registered: 2009-04-12
Posts: 82,980

Re: Random jokes I come across

Hi Agnishom;

I took care of it.


In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
I have the result, but I do not yet know how to get it.
All physicists, and a good many quite respectable mathematicians are contemptuous about proof.

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#265 2012-12-20 03:55:31

Agnishom
Real Member
From: The Complex Plane
Registered: 2011-01-29
Posts: 15,201
Website

Re: Random jokes I come across

Thanks


'And fun? If maths is fun, then getting a tooth extraction is fun. A viral infection is fun. Rabies shots are fun.'
'God exists because Mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it'
'Humanity is still kept intact. It remains within.' -Alokananda

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#266 2014-03-16 20:55:17

Agnishom
Real Member
From: The Complex Plane
Registered: 2011-01-29
Posts: 15,201
Website

Re: Random jokes I come across

 _________________________________________
/ There once was a king who ruled his     \
| country long, wisely, and well. The     |
| king had a son whom he hoped would      |
| someday rule the land. He also wished   |
| in his heart that the son ould be wise  |
| and compassionate. One day he said to   |
| the prince: "If you promised that you   |
| would give a certain woman anything,    |
| even half of your kingdom, and then she |
| demanded the life of your best friend,  |
| what would your decision be, my son?"   |
| The young prince thought for a moment   |
| and then said, "I would tell her that   |
| she was my best friend, and cut her     |
| head off." The king knew that his son   |
\ would be a great king.                  /
 -----------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

[From the offensive section of Fortune]


'And fun? If maths is fun, then getting a tooth extraction is fun. A viral infection is fun. Rabies shots are fun.'
'God exists because Mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it'
'Humanity is still kept intact. It remains within.' -Alokananda

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#267 2014-03-17 14:00:54

Agnishom
Real Member
From: The Complex Plane
Registered: 2011-01-29
Posts: 15,201
Website

Re: Random jokes I come across

A Pole comes into a Warsaw bank.

'I have a hundred zlotys,' says the Pole. 'I can't decide what would be the safest thing to do with them.'

'Put them in the bank,' says the bank clerk.

'But what if the bank crashes?' says the Pole.

'If the bank crashes, then the bank administration guarantees to refund your money,' replies the clerk.

'Well, what if the administration goes bust?'

'Then the Polish Ministry of Finance guarantees to refold your money.'

'Well, what if the Ministry of Finance goes bust?'

'Then the Polish government guarantees to refund your money.'

'Well, what if the Polish government goes bankrupt?'

'Well, in that case the friendly Soviet Union guarantees the return of your money.'

'And what if the Soviet Union goes bankrupt?'

'You naughty, you don't mean to say that you'd begrudge a hundred zlotys for that?'


'And fun? If maths is fun, then getting a tooth extraction is fun. A viral infection is fun. Rabies shots are fun.'
'God exists because Mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it'
'Humanity is still kept intact. It remains within.' -Alokananda

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#268 2014-04-06 04:02:28

Agnishom
Real Member
From: The Complex Plane
Registered: 2011-01-29
Posts: 15,201
Website

Re: Random jokes I come across

Fortune's Guide to Movies:
G:   No girl.
PG:  The hero gets the girl.
R:   The bad guy gets the girl, then the good guy gets the girl.
X:   The hero still gets the girl in the end, but he's never sure
	which end it will be.
XXX: Everybody gets the girl.

'And fun? If maths is fun, then getting a tooth extraction is fun. A viral infection is fun. Rabies shots are fun.'
'God exists because Mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we cannot prove it'
'Humanity is still kept intact. It remains within.' -Alokananda

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