Math Is Fun Forum

  Discussion about math, puzzles, games and fun.   Useful symbols: ÷ × ½ √ ∞ ≠ ≤ ≥ ≈ ⇒ ± ∈ Δ θ ∴ ∑ ∫ • π ƒ -¹ ² ³ °

You are not logged in.

#1 2005-06-06 18:38:23

MathsIsFun
Administrator
Registered: 2005-01-21
Posts: 7,711

Aircraft Maintenance

After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" , which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.  The
mechanics then correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots   Review the gripe sheets before the next flight. 

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.


             P:         Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement
             S:         Almost replaced left inside main tyre

             P:         Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough
             S:         Auto-land not installed on this aircraft

             P:         Something loose in cabin
             S:         Something tightened in cabin

             P:         Dead bugs on windshield
             S:         Live bugs on backorder

             P:         Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
             S:         Cannot produce problem on the ground
             
             P:         Evidence of oil leak in landing gear
             S:         Evidence removed

             P:         DME volume unbelievably loud
             S:         DME volume set to more believable level

             P:         Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
             S:         That's what they're for

             P:         OFF inoperative
             S:         OFF always inoperative in OFF mode

             P:         Suspected crack in windshield
             S:         Suspect you're right

             P:         Number 3 Engine missing
             S:         Engine found on right wing after brief search

             P:         Aircraft handles funny
             S:         Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious

             P:         Target radar hums
             S:         Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics

             P:         Mouse in cabin
             S:         Cat installed

             P:         Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer
             S:         Took hammer away from midget


"The physicists defer only to mathematicians, and the mathematicians defer only to God ..."  - Leon M. Lederman

Offline

#2 2005-06-07 04:14:29

Zach
Member
Registered: 2005-03-23
Posts: 2,075

Re: Aircraft Maintenance

Oh Em Eff Gee! Those are god darn funny!


Boy let me tell you what:
I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

Offline

#3 2005-06-08 06:35:53

Mr T
Member
Registered: 2005-03-30
Posts: 1,012

Re: Aircraft Maintenance

These are things that people actually said in court, word for word.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: How old is your son-the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.


I come back stronger than a powered-up Pac-Man big_smile
I bought a large popcorn @ the cinema the other day, it was pretty big...some might even say it was "large
cool Fatboy Slim is a Legend cool

Offline

#4 2005-06-16 02:51:48

Roraborealis
Member
Registered: 2005-03-17
Posts: 1,594

Re: Aircraft Maintenance

LOL! Many laughs here!


School is practice for the future. Practice makes perfect. But - nobody's perfect, so why practice?

Offline

#5 2005-06-21 07:11:18

Mr T
Member
Registered: 2005-03-30
Posts: 1,012

Re: Aircraft Maintenance

indeed


I come back stronger than a powered-up Pac-Man big_smile
I bought a large popcorn @ the cinema the other day, it was pretty big...some might even say it was "large
cool Fatboy Slim is a Legend cool

Offline

#6 2008-01-08 13:11:19

MasterofDisguise
Member
Registered: 2008-01-05
Posts: 68

Re: Aircraft Maintenance

Nice jokes Mr T and mathisfun


(im an ALIEN eek) im kool tongue (WHAT what You cant steal my fridge!)]

Offline

#7 2019-11-17 19:51:42

Monox D. I-Fly
Member
From: Indonesia
Registered: 2015-12-02
Posts: 2,000

Re: Aircraft Maintenance

Mr T wrote:

These are things that people actually said in court, word for word.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: How old is your son-the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

So, the lawyers are either:
a. doesn't know math, or
b. doesn't believe that people die if they are killed


Actually I never watch Star Wars and not interested in it anyway, but I choose a Yoda card as my avatar in honor of our great friend bobbym who has passed away.
May his adventurous soul rest in peace at heaven.

Offline

Board footer

Powered by FluxBB