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To a tightrope walker named Zekund
The 'a' due to gravity beckoned.
. . His performance was great
. . At about 9.8
m/s/s.
There was a young lady named Lizst
Whose mouth had a funny half-twist.
. . She'd turned both her lips
. . Into Moebius strips.
'Til she's kissed you, you haven't been kissed.
A young mathematician named Crottle
Poured water into a Klein bottle.
. . When asked, "Do you doubt
. . That some will run out?"
Said, "No, I don't. Quite a lot'll."
A girl from the vast Fourth Dimension
Has a love life beyond comprehension.
. . With length, width and height
. . She's an utter delight.
With her fourth ... too wondrous to mention!
What's the difference between an oboe and a bassoon?
A bassoon burns longer.
What's the difference between a trombone and a chainsaw?
Vibrato.
What is the definition of an optimist?
A tuba player with a beeper.
What's the difference between a banjo player and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
What do you call a beautiful woman on an accordion player's arm?
A tattoo.
Regarding ShivamS's post about the barometer problem
"Use a barometer to determine the height of a building" . . .
There is a variation that makes the rounds from time to time.
It seems that the question was asked on State exam.
A bright student knew the expected answer, but decided
to show off his knowledge. When his answers was rejected,
he insisted that his answer was correct. After all, the question
did not state how the barometer was to be used.
They gave him a re-test. This time he answered, "Climb up
the outside of the building, measuring the height in
barometer-lengths ..." They stopped him. "No, no, that
won't do!"
He said, "Approach the building superintendent and say,
'If you'll tell me the height of this building, I'll give you
this expensive baromater." Again, they said, "No! You must
give a scientific use of the barometer.
This time he answered, "Tie a string to the baromater.
At the top of the building, measure the period of the pendulum.
Do that same at the bottom of the building. From the difference
we can calculate the height."
They said, "That's not what we want." He said, "Tell me what
you want." And they found that they couldn't answer him
without giving away the answer.
He had one method. "Measure the barometer's shadow.
Measure the building's shadow. From similar triangles,
we can calculate the height of the building."
They gave up and gave him back the points.
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Note that September means seven, October means eight,
. . November means nine, and December means ten.
I've heard the story (probably apocryphal) that there were ten months originally.
Then Julius Caesar created a month in his honor, July.
Not to be outshone, Caesar Augustus created a month for himself, August.
It is probably an "urban legend", but it is a colorful story.
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Hello, anonimnystefy!
Do you post here everything you post on MHF?
Yes, I also post them at my other favorite math sites:
. . SosMath, FreeMathHelp, and MyMathForum.
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I once bought a T-shirt for a friend, a Physics professor.
. . . . . . . . . (Front)
. . . . . . . Here I come!
. . . . . . . . . (Back)
. . . . . . . There I go!
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A * - - - - - - - * B
* * 8 * *
8 * * 8
* *60°* *
* - - - - * - - - - *
OEdit: Ah, Bob beat me to it . . . *sigh*
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8|
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*:::* 4| *:::*
:* | *:
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- - - * - - - * * * - - - * - - -
* | *4
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] .
I hate watching movies involving science/mathematics/computers.
Rarely are they anywhere near reality.
I agree . . .
What about this?
Two men are playing a chess game.
The villain makes a move and sits back, smiling smugly.
The hero (usually James Bond) looks a bit concerned,
. . then makes a move . . . Checkmate!
The villain's jaw drops . . . totally stunned!
You'll never convince me that someone who plays chess
. . would overlook a mate-in-one ... and walk into it.
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